Discussions that mention morphine

Arachnoiditis board


Hi~

I am new here, looking for a direction. I have been diagnosed with Arnold Chiari Malformation, which is a brain disorder. With this, the brain is sinking into the base of the skull, compressing the nerves as well as the brainstem, causing daily cronic pain.

There are surgeries to relieve the pressure on the nerves, though there is no cure, Chiari is cronic and depending on how long this condition is left untreated, these nerves can be left with permanent damage. I had my 1st surgery on my spinal cord in June but my pain level is unbearable!!

I was given oxycodone after my surgery. I have a big fear of dependancy so I stopped this a week post op. So far, nothing I've been given has really helped anyways so I just suffer.

I've tried lyrica, neurontin and the oxy. And even in the hospital, morphine just takes the edge off but doesn't help too much. So I self medicate by using rest to feel better. When I lay flat, my pain lessens but once up again, it comes back. This is because my brain is blocking the flow of spinal fluid to my brain. But my quality of life is definately not the best.

I am 42 years old with 2 teenagers to help reach adulthood and this is affecting them so much. Because I'm unable to be upright for long, I cant do much with them and that just saddens me to see them lose out on life because they're mom is sick.

But I've been living this way for a long time and today I brought my daughter to our family councelor. She has been wonderful in helping our family deal with all of this. Today I expressed my pain and my suffering to her. She told me that sometimes I think I'm superwoman but its time now to seak out someone for pain management.

I expressed my fear of dependency and she encouraged me by saying that I have enough self awareness not to get caught up in that. Also, I explained that I don't want to be concidered a "drug seeker" by the medical profession. Chiari is something not alot of dr's know about or understand so I fear they'll think I'm just looking for drugs. But I do need help with this and don't know where to start.

I am generally an upbeat person, even concidering my disability. But lately, I spend many days crying, alone and trying to hide my pain from my kids. Funny but yesterday I was crying to myself and thought since no one was with me in the room, I was not being heard. I have a little quaker parakeet who is quite vocal and all of I sudden I realized that he was coping my sounds and crying back to be. LOL Gotta find some humor too!!

So here I am looking for any advice and direction. If I can find a way to manage my pain and have some of my life back, I'd be happy.

Thanks for listening to my story

Cindy