Discussions that mention norco

Addiction & Recovery board

I have a condition called interstitial cystitis, which basically means it feels like I have a serious bladder infection 24/7. I've had this for about 3 years now, and I've been on painkillers for 21/2 years. It's been over a year since I've gone a day without at least one pill. At my worst, I took about 6 norco, 2 tylox, and 2 10 mg oxycontin a day. I am currently at my best, which is between 1 1/4 and 1 3/4 lortab a day. I've been at this level for about 2 months now, and I think I'm ready to try and go completely clean - by which I mean I'm ready for the pain, but I don't know how to deal with the psychological and withdrawl aspect of this. Don't get me wrong, I do have an actual physical problem for which I have been prescribed painkillers that do help my pain, but they're royally screwing my life and I don't think I can do this anymore. I'm tired all the time, I count the hours until I can take my next 1/4 and I feel like I spend my whole day trying to achieve tis pefect feeling that it's become pretty clear these pills are not going to give me. I want out, but I'm not sure how to do it. Plus, the next time I have a kidney infection, UTI, bladder infection, etc., I'll have to take the medication, and I'm afraid I'll fall down the same slippery slope. Nobody in my life knows about this, and I can't tell them because they'd never understand. I'm only 24, I'm about to graduate from college, and I need to be done with this. This would probably be easier if I couldn't get prescriptions, if I had to go to illegal or dangerous extremes to feed this need, but because everyone assured me this was MEDICATION and not drugs, I thought I was safe. Drugs of some sort have been part of my life for 6 years now, on and off, and I'm so scared I'm going to spend my whole life this way. So my question is, How do I do this? I've never been physically addicted to a drug before, and the withdrawls I experienced, in addition to the pain of this condition, made being awake almost unbearable. How do I create a life for myself outside of all my little pills? Should I wait until next weekend, when I don't have to work? I can't FATHOM working through withdrawls.
I know I can do this, I'm smart, I'm strong, and I truly have the desire, but I am so, so scared. I've arranged my whole life around this addiction, and while I've taken steps to reduce the problem, the main thing is I'm still taking meds throughout the day, just much less. I need help. Any advice will be gratefull received.