Discussions that mention paxil

Panic Disorders board

Thank you both Graciecat & nyxin for your very supportive words. It means a great deal to me, knowing that I'm not alone & that there are people out there who understand what I'm going through.

I was on meds (Paxil) for almost 2 years, and not much success. I gained a ton of weight, developed insomnia and felt like garbage while on it. Guess I'm a little apprehensive to try more/new meds right now.

To be honest, I'm at a point in my life where I'm looking at my attacks as an "intruder" of my mind. I'm starting to get furious that these intruders come and try to "take over"--does that sound strange? "They" have kept me prisoner in my own home, taken away my self-esteem, compromised friendships and relationships and have all but destroyed the zest for life I used to have. I'm tired of docs & meds, tired of feeling depressed & isolated--just tired of being tired.

I want my "old" life back. I want to feel happy again, feel worthy, be unafraid to go places & meet new people. I'm angry at this "intruder", and feel like I'm gaining the courage to fight back. Of course, I know it will be a long (& scary) road to take--I'm positive I'll have many bad days ahead. But reading others' posts & stories gives me the reassurance that hope is out there. I'm not unrealistic--I know I may always have attacks--but knowing that it's possible to get through them is a wonderful feeling in itself.

I'm also trying to set a few small goals for myself. One being getting my license again (I stopped driving when I started getting my attacks). I'm at a pretty confusing time in my life, but I do know that I don't want to live like this anymore.

Thanks again for your kindness & supportive words. It really does help a great deal to know that there is hope out there! :)