Thanks so much for your informative and timely response. I do have a more questions, which I would love for you to respond to if you get a chance. I don’t mind the cold at all, in fact I kind of like it since I have been unable to develop a cold in 6 mos. I used to get a cold every year between February and March but I didn’t this year b/c I felt like my body was to pre-occupied with the depression. My history is as follows. I am 24 I have always been really energetic, happy, witty, fun and smart all my life. My mother told me I had a lot of fear when I was a little kid (the dark, first day of school each year, getting beat up in boys bathroom, taking the bus alone b/c feared getting beat up). I always was anxious before exams, which is what drove me to study so hard and do so well. I am also extremely claustrophobic. These characteristics, and many more, are what led my homeopathic doctor to believe Argentum Nitricum would work. As I had mentioned before he first tried me on another remedy to no avail.
Now that I am in my second year of law school I have become very anxious about working in the real world and whether I want to be an attorney (kind of like first day of school anxiety). I haven’t been depressed long. I was first very anxious through much of September and October 2002, which manifested itself in an inability to think clearly in class and be as bright and witty as I was used to. My memory, also, became much worse. Then in early November I think my body gave up (flight v. fight) and I started being really tired. Didn’t feel like getting out of bed in the morning and slowly but surely lost interest in everything I loved (Learning, playing sports, going out with friends, listening to music). By mid-December I was really depressed, although I have never had suicidal thoughts. I guess I am too optimistic and too much of a fighter…I don’t know…or else my symptoms haven’t gotten that dire yet. During November and December I would notice that getting drunk would usually not be as fun and then if I got really wasted I would be lots of fun, but the next morning would be so depressed and it would last for days. So I gave up drinking. I have a cool shrink who recommended I start taking 3000mg. of molecularly distilled Omega-3 fish oil b/c it can help depression. It seemed to help for a week or so, but now I realize the placebo effect is very powerful within me and my mind is much more powerful than my body. That is how my anxiety led to the depression and my present state.
After the fish oil didn’t work, I kept on it for general health tried 300mg. of lithium which didn’t do much (manic-depressives take b/w 1200 mg. and 2400 mg.) stayed on it though and started 150 mg. wellbutrin.
My family history is that my dad has been on Paxil for the last 3 years and my twin sister, who is losing her hearing and her vision (due to a degenerative disease) has been on Wellbutrin for a year.
The Wellbutrin, which I started January 15th wired me for 4 days- that got me out of bed, but then I went back down and never felt much better. I was able to get out of bed in the morning but could not think straight and slept 3 to 4 hours a night. I was a zombie. Stayed for 6 weeks on wellbutrin even though I knew it wasn’t working. All b/c the psych insisted on it. Then I started lexapro with wellbutrin. Long story short (already pretty long). I have never been on more than 150mg. of Wellbutrin SR and 5mg. of Lexapro and 300mg. of Lithium. I just weaned off the wellbutrin after 3 mos. of taking it and am on 5 mg. of Lexapro- which is half the minium daily dose. The Lexapro makes it hard to get out of bed in the morning. I am going to be done with the Lithium in 3 days and then will only be at 5mg. of Lexapro- which I have been on for 6 weeks. I would like to wean off of that asap. I think psychiatry is not enough of a science to be throwing these meds into my body. I like the holistic approach of homeopathy and am willing to wait it out. I waited 3 and a half months unsuccessfully on meds.
After all this I am wondering if you think with the little bit of meds I have been on and for such a short time and having only been depressed for 6 months, do you think the homeopathy will work once I get the right remedy? How long (I know it is hard to say) Do you think Argentum sounds right from the little you know of me? ( I should say I am an anxious kid with unfounded fears and insecurities, but to a stranger come off very confident (sort of in the Lycopodium sense) and I have an interest in all things (like a Sulphur without the absent-mindedness, clutter and mess). Also, after this cold does dissipate, do you then believe if the remedy is the right one I should slowly begin to feel more depressed with the symptoms I mostly recently felt (ex: tired, disinterested) as the first to go and then the witty, concentration and clear last to go? Further, I was under the impression that I should get very tired as my bodies immune system is shocked. Perhaps that is the cold I have developed. Lastly, have you seen depression of my sort (performance anxiety gone depressed, lack of interest in life and clear thought) been treated successfully with homeopathy?
Thanks so much for your time and I hope you made it through this and can’t wait to hear from you. You have been very helpful and inspiring. Not to mention just writing this is impart therapeutic.