Discussions that mention percocet

Addiction & Recovery board


I am addicted to Percocet and Hydrocodone really bad...

edited

I don't know what to do. I have everything to live for...2 wonderful children, each with a new baby girl...I am a grandma twice in the last year. I am so sick and I don't want to die but I don't know where to turn.

Everytime I go to my doctor I want to tell him so bad but I just can't bring myself to tell him. I can't imagine my life without my pain medicine. My doctor gave me 150 Percocets June 26th and I counted them today, June 30th, and I have 50 left. I do at least 300 pills a month...what am I going to do. I can't type anymore...the tears are streaming down my face. Somebody please help me.
Good morning Lisa,

You are not alone here :) There are alot of people in your position, or have been in your position before, so you'll get alot of help here.

You can do this! Have a chat with your doctor, don't be afraid, mosts doctors are aware of the problems with addiction.

I got a tear in my eye when I read that the tears were streaming down your face :( I was once in that exact position. I knew what I was doing, and I knew it had to stop but I didn't want to tell my doctor cause that meant I'd eventually have to taper down and discontinue the one thing that I really enjoyed doing. Well, I thought I enjoyed it - it ruined my life. I started out with percocet, just like you. When I hit rock bottom, I was taking 10 Oxycontin 80's per day! Thats 800mg of oxycodone IN ONE DAY. One percocet has 5mg, so if you do the math, I was taking the equivalent of 160 percocets a day.

I'm not saying you'll turn out like me. I'm just trying to show you how quickly it get out of hand. From the time I got my first script of 30 percocets, to the time I was taking 800mg, it had only been about 12 months.

Lisa, you can do this. You don't want to get any worse, do you? Take control now, talk to your doctor and figure out a way for you to taper down.

If you need advice, suggestions, encouragement...then you've come to the right place :) There are some really wonderful people on this board, people who will stand behind you and guide you through your journey to recovery.

With love and support,
emsmom (K)
hi lisa,

my name is kelly, i am a recovering alcoholic and i read the addiction and recovery boards and quite often. i know your drug of choice is not alcohol but addiction is addiction and we all are in the same battle so when i read your post ...i just had to reply and tell you, that i also will support you in any way i can!!!

this is a fantastic group of people that you have found here!!

i actually take norco 10/325 4-5 times a day for chronic pain...so i can kind of relate to the drugs....i think percocet is stronger than norco but anyway...i can see where it could be a problem if your not careful (me i mean) especially with my addiction history.

lisa....you have taken the first step...you have admitted you are powerless over the drug...that was the hardest step for me, and you did it!!

did you get a chance to talk with your dr. yet?? i also went to an addictions counselor who was in recovery himself and he helped more than i could have ever imagined!!

keep is posted and let us know what we can do to help....the support and love and honesty one addict has for another has truly amazed me...we need you as much as you need us!!!!!

much love..and prayers....kelly
Hello my Friends...so many "thanks" to you for your prayer's and concern. I am not doing well. I am feeling, absolute, terror.

Right now...my brain is telling me to log out of here...run... and don't look back.
My heart is telling me to put it all out there for you to see/for me to share.
I am going to listen to my heart and fear being judged.



What I am about to tell you, about myself, is the hardest....most embarrassing truth....I have ever revealed to another about my, so sick, addiction(s). Percocet and Cocaine.
I have been up since Sunday....4 days and 3 nights.
Otherwise, I would have called my doctor by now.


You see, I am divorced (about 13 years now). I live in a decent home/nice neighborhood. I live alone except for my "Min Pin" that I love like no other! For the most part, money and/or lack of, has never been a issue.....unfortunatly.

My sick entertainment consists of having two of my best friend over (Percocets/Opoids and Cocaine) for a 3 or 4 night party about two to three times a month (Cocaine Use). I partake in all the festivities all the while knowing I am slowly but surely going to die. How sick I am.

I don't think I have ever meantioned, to you, that one of my character assets is "addictive behavior disorder."
Doctor's agree that one is born with this asset and
I just happened to be one of the lucky ones. Just set any drug in front of me.....I will do it until it is gone.....I will like it.....and then I will be addicted to it.

Thank you all for your prayers and support.
I love you guys...
Lisa
hi...I am also addicted to percocet, but not at as high of a dose. I am tapering and using the detox plan. I don't think you are going to truly get over this hump til you go into treatment. i don't know what kind you need, but sitting in limbo is hell. I am also an ex-cocaine addict so i know about the staying up for days and wanting to come down but not able to stop doing the coke. Anyway, i am up if you want to talk.
Rosebuddy
Wow!!
God Bless you. I was just doing a search on google to find out if I had a problem with Percocet. I have never taken it before, I am 49 years old and I have herniated discs in my lower back and neck, with narrowing of the spine. I have been taking them since December of 2007 and I hate taking pills of any kind, so I didn't really think they were doing anything. The most I take now is 1/2 in the morning and maybe 1/2 in the late afternoon. I got scared and thought I was addicted.
I in my earlier years had a bout with freebasing cocaine. I never knew how addictive that drug was and I thought that the person who told me to try it cared about me. I didn't realize he was addicted to it himself. Wow did that take me down hell's alley. I just thank God that I had my wonderful son in my life, a straight A student who has always excelled and was actually inspiration for me to leave that death trap alone after about 1 1/2 years. Also I had the gift of having a very loving and understanding Grandmother who took care of my son and never stopped loving me even after she found out that I had been on drugs.
You say you have everything to live for, then start living. Tell your doctor and take responsibility for your actions. I know it may not be easy, but I have a newspaper article that stays right in front of my face everyday as I sit down at my laptop to peruse the world and the headline reads..."With God, all things really are possible". And I am here today to tell you it's true.

:angel:
Hello to ALL my Caring and Supporting Friends,

I have not posted since July 7th.....I have been going through alot here. I ran out of pills.....I have been on the search and finding a few here and there.....doing them all up and then hurting all over again.
Finally got my script. for 90 percs and here I go again...such a happy camper now.
Such a love-hate relationship with the percocets and cocaine.
The really awful feeling that I have is I want to quit/don't want to quit feeling. I think what will I do without my drugs??? Such a sick feeling in my gut.
I live alone, well with my best friend, my min pin.
I don't have any friends, by choice, and I would not dare tell my family.....they have already been through this with me one time and my parents are in their 80's and they don't need this s--t from me. I would never ever want my children to know either.
This is so bad.....I actually enjoy doing what I do and that is the scary part. I am not so sure I even want to stop. I am really a sad and sick person.

Gotta run...will post back to all that have replied with support real soon.

Love you guys,
Lisa xoxoxo
Hello to ALL that have shown their Care and Support for me.
I have not posted for quite awhile due to my, out of control, active addiction. I am worse and sick than ever.
I am, definitly, not in a sane state of mind as of this posting.
How attractive am I?
I have been up since Thursday (other than passing out in the computer chair for how long? I don't even know.
Since Thursday I have experienced all of the following.
I have woke up in the computer chair with stem in hand and stuff all over the table and floor and continued on.
I have woke up in the bed with everything laying right beside me and continued on.
My baby, Min Pin, even woke me up when I dosed off in the chair...and once again...I continue on. What???
I don't know what day or time it is unless I look at the corner of my computer.
I have started to halucinate...I know this is from lack of sleep...been here before.
I have not answered my phone in 4 days.
Now let's throw in the rest of my sick addictions...percocets...wine...xanax and anything else I can do.
I sit here thinking about how much I should seek help and in the same thought calling for delivery.
I, also, wonder why am I doing this.

Pray for me
Love you guys,
Theresa
I was taking 20-30 10 mg Percocets for the last year of a five year addiction. I recently (56 days ago) went to my Primary care Doctor and told her what was going on. She referred me to an addiction Doctor and he started me on Suboxone. Now, there are a lot of stories about coming off Suboxone, but honestly, I have so much relief from it. No more counting pills and dreading running out, no more feeling sick when I run out, no more lying to get pills, no more waiting for hours in ER's or Urgen Dare Clinics for pills and most of all I'm starting to feel like myself again. My program is a long program that will last months and I will be tapered very slowly. I am also in counseling that has been fantastic as well. Your Doctor will NOT be angry or judgemental and will want to do everything they can to help you. My PC cals me once per week to see how I'm doing. Don't be scared, just take the leap and you will be on your way to getting out of your misery. Good luck and don't hesitate to ask for any more help.
I feel for everone who sufferes a percocet addiction, im 23 years old I been where you are allot of you been felt what what you have felt I was taking 20 percocets a day im an addict but i did recover and still in recovery i did it the hard way i ended up in jail for 10 days because i spiraled out of control i was going to different doctors to obtain perceptions i didnt think i had a problem :( I stopped cold turkey didnt have a choice it hurt so badly but i did it im now 20 days clean off them i m in counselling and i do suffer chronic pain so the alternative they gave me was anti inflammatory (naproxen) with acetaminophen it works wonders after drying out from narcotics i still needed something for my back. comming off percocets cold is always the best way everyone is different sometime methadone is needed or rehabilitation and there always support ion the community and so many resorces if you do suffer chronic pain be honest with your doctor about addictions and they will help you! best of luck to all of you my prayers are with you
hi all -
just started reading this thread. Has anyone heard from Lisa? Lisa if you are reading this, i hope you are ok! your story really moved me and also made me worry and want to help. i posted a version of my update in another chain, but here is a lil bit of my story too....
I, too, have a mean percocet addiction of several years... 6 maybe? maybe more.. im also a chronic pain patient (im 35) due to migraines and degenerative disk disease and i fell into the trap of eventually taking them cause they feel good not just for my pain. I usually blow through my script like u... i get 150 of the perc 10/325 and they are gone in like 2 weeks and then when i actually need them for a pain situation, they are gone. it's no way to live.
i just got my week sober... but then injured my back. i actually waited a week, took no pills or anything and then finally got cortizone shots to help with the pain (and more so to help with the amount of pills i knew i'd have to take as the pain has just gotten worse). The past 3 days I have had to take a small amount of pills when the pain has just gotten to be too much so i can physically function (i am moving and am in the middle of packing). BUT i am actually controlling my intake cause i have finally had enough. And boy is it HARD to not take more than what i need for the pain, but i just have to keep my head on straight. for me, i reached a point where i had enough, it just clicked in my brain where i just felt sick of being sick and out of control. where i just need to be sober. you can give yourself that power back too sweetie. it's a hard road for sure, but it gets easier and surely ends up easier than the place you were in when you initially posted.

you sound like you have the desire too, to change things up. just fear is stopping you, which i'll bet everyone on this board has had to struggle with especially as they take those first steps. you are not alone. not at all. and you shouldn't feel ashamed. these things happen... and they can happen to good people, hon! so dont get down on yourself. none of us should.
I've also used coke while on pills (i dont think i've admitted that to the board yet)... i dont have an issue with it like what i have happening with the percs... but if im intoxicated, i'll do it and do it til it's gone. no matter how much is there. i try to avoid places where it is but the only thing that SUPER keeps that in check for me is my fiance who HATES coke and basically forbids me to do it... especially while i struggle with pills since that mix is so dangerous. i didn't like admitting that, but it does feel good. and i'm sure it will help with my recovery.
please post and let us know if you are ok. all of us struggle, have embarrassments, fall off the horse etc... but this board is really lovely because so many people care and will be there for you through and give you great advice. they have all been through it too, so you dont have to feel alone. sometimes when i feel alone or scared, i post or just read the board to help me focus on my goal. especially now while i try hard not to abuse my meds right now and stop them as soon as I can.
it's never too late to look back into that center you found, or to tell your doctor, or delete contacts from your phone so it's harder to get drugs. All this is easier said than done, but as you take these little steps things WILL get easier andn your steps will eventuallly grow larger and more confident. and that feeling (as cheesy as it sounds) is better than any drug... when you start to get back into the world again. that's a fantastic high, i promise. keep taking steps to get there.:)
if you can, let this board help give you some strength.
thinking of you! (sorry i rambled... looks like i needed to get some things off my chest too. :)
be safe
wendy88
There are some really good tips on how to prepare to withdraw on this site. I was addicted to 10 to 15 mil of percocet or vicodin. Saturday night I went cold turkey on my own with the help of my husband. It was extremly painful and I was not prepare as well as I could of had I read this site. With some Motrin, asprin and hot bath when it was too much to bear, 4 days into the withdraw I am feeling much better. As long as you really want to quit and you read up and have help you can be more confortable that I was. You can always taper down slower than I did. By the way this was extremly low daily dose at one year + so your withdraw could be a bit more severe. The most important thing is make up you mind a do something.
good morning young50, so nice to hear from you, and of course your challenges your facing, unfortunately percocet is one of the hardest drug to come off of in my opinion, however i have been off since April 6th or so and it certainly can be done cause if i can do it anyone can, i still cant believe i did it though, shocking but having it in your head and heart you CAN do it hun but you have a situation that perhaps prevents you right now and thats ok, i hope everything goes well for you and your proceedure, but what i know is that you will know when your ready and only until then will it work, you have to be pain free almost, so maybe after your proceedure things might be a whole lot better for you and you may be ready cause this pill is vicious and it tells your brain that its ok and thats the part you have to be strong to do it, i kinda explain it like a monster in your head that always wants to be fed, but what we have to do is starve the dam monster!....let me know how you are doing and i will be thinking of you, in my prayer always hun,,take care and i know you will be ok one day soon i hope.....hugs..xox