Discussions that mention prozac

Anger Management board

I'm not in any position to tell you what to do, because I'm in the middle of working on very similar stuff myself. I'm 51, and have been angry all my life, ever since some kind of stuff went on when I was very small. All I can do is offer some of my experiences and if you can relate to any, then it might at least help you feel better... ;)

(I'm trying to use the past tense in some of this because although I have a long way to go, I am trying to put things behind me and make conscious changes)

My pattern has been like a volcano: I'd have this underlying frustration pretty much 24 hours per day that would cause daily outbursts of anger that weren't huge, but definitely were more intense than whatever caused them.
Then, after a longer period, like months, or a year or more, I'd have a complete "eruption" that caused me some large amount of despair. My most recent one was cussing out a manager at work in an unbelievable rage, then quitting my job.

I knew at an early age that I wasn't making it working around other people. I didn't really look into myself enough at the time, and I just ended up working for myself in a small business for most of my adult life. I could have a few employees, but wasn't too good at helping them with their problems, like a good manager would be. I was too self-involved. I was a Radio/TV repairman. There were a number of times when I would have to fix stuff that I had broken when I threw it at the wall or on the floor. I remember one time in particular where I just couldn't find the problem with a car stereo. It ended up in very little pieces on the floor, and I felt so bad, I found a new one at a store, bought it, and changed it out with the other one and told the owner I fixed it. :D I finally got out of the business, thinking that I would feel better, but that wasn't really the problem, obviously.

I have always had a habit of remembering bad things that happened to me, and cussing myself out under my breath because I didn't react to a situation like I should have. It usually had something to do with my "being a man." For example, 25 years ago I was sitting at a table in a bar and some guy spilled my drink on my lap. I was sure he did it on purpose, but I just left, rather than stand up for myself. That was 25 years ago! And there are lots more where those came from! ( I wonder if a bulletin board that's just for telling these kinds of stories would be a good idea? There's probably one out there already. It would probably be a great place for people like us to unload some old baggage. And see how many others have similar junk.) My wife hears me swear under my breath, and she knows right away what's going on. She tries to stop me from doing it, but she thinks it's kind of funny that I still beat myself up for little tiny stuff from way back. She's been much more giving to me than I have to her in our 12 year marriage. ( But I'm getting better lately ;) )

There is still some crusty spaghetti sauce in the corner of the dining room ceiling at this house I'm in from four years ago! My wife would never clean it up because she wanted me to always see it there, and clean it up myself. That's funny. I just remembered this now. I'm going to clean it tomorrow. ;)

My six year old son has been showing definite signs of copying my anger and yelling, etc. I'm determined not to pass this along to my kids. My 11 year old daughter has been so scared that she has become too nice. She asks if I would like her to bring me this or that, she keeps saying, "sorry" for every little thing just so I won't get mad. All this has really come to my attention after I quit this latest job. I was completely kaput. But it made me take a deeper look, and I'm hoping I won't revert. I'm trying everything I can to change things. I'm involving both my kids, and my wife too. I'm making it publicly known among my family that I don't want to be angry any more, and we're keeping it an open thing among us. We are all feeling so much better already, even after only a couple weeks.

I have "been here before" where my anger caused me enough despair to want to work on it, but I eventually reverted and forgot to work on it. So I'm very suspicious of myself and am determined to overcome it this time. So far I do feel better about it. We'll just have to keep at it and see what happens.

One time I had a blowup at work that didn't end up in me quitting, but it did poison a couple relationships at work. My sister told me to see a shrink she knew who would give me prescriptions for Prozac. I did that for a couple of years. I never had to talk much to the shrink, and could use the Prozac to take a little of the "edge" off so I could control myself a little better. That did do some help, but it never gets rid of the underlying causes, and they always come back. I was on Prozac when I had this last blowup where I quit. It seems like it just contributes to the building up of the "lava" under the volcano. :D

Well, all this writing is great therapy for me, but I hope it helps you in some way. I could write a book.... hmmmm..

One last thing, speaking of books. I've been reading a lot about anger, etc. There are a lot of books out there on the subject. Some seem to be geared towards "quick-fixes" and making money for themselves (I suspect) than totally giving. But here are two that have had a big impact on me so far:
Dealing With Your Anger, Frank Donovan
The Secret Life of Men, Steve Biddulph

If you run across a website or bulletin board like I was talking about above, be sure and post it.