Hi everyone who posted, I just want to say thank you for your responses. There have been times I have wondered if I am bi polar, but at the same time I still see myself as having General Depression and anxiety, what I have already been diagnosed with a few times. At the same time, I too see that when I get down I get really way way down. Then when I am up I feel as if I can handle anything and any situation. Friends tell me that I have such an amazing positive side that they admire that. Which I look at too...that maybe I am just really positive minded some days. We cant all be happy all the time non stop, and I am definately not happy constantly non stop. Ever since I lost my job I think my self esteem has gone way down, and I am trying to work through that. I had a professional career that I lost a few months back and it was devastating. Also I do not have custody of both my sons, and think that I have done extremely well in working through that, being a good mom, and also devotedly paying child support. Just that right there is enough to pull someone so far down. For several years I have not had my children (I was never an unfit parent or anything like that) but when my work found out I do not have custody of my children I feel as if I was treated really strangely and unjustly. Just work knowing I dont have custody of my children, it was like pure hell going to work everyday although I loved much about my career. Now, for years I have remained a big part of my childrens lives and try to be very involved. My children are wonderful. I do get along with their dad, and his wife after years of not so good things between them and me, but its better now. At the same time, you never get over not having custody of your children. My youngest son suffers from depression problems and is on prozac, but I notice that he seems to be manic as time goes on. He goes into massive mood swings. As well, I am trained to know a lot about medical things...but try not to diagnose. That could become a bad habit for me if I did that all the time. But my gut instinct says...my sons behavior is becoming more manic as time goes on. His father and my exhusbands wife feel he has depression and just needs to stay on the prozac, and also say that he does better on it then before he took it. In way I believe that, because they have been around him way more...since I did not live in the same town, I had lived in another town for several years until recently. Now I am around my children much more now, and also see things that I did not notice before because we are around each other much much more now. So in some ways, they are adjusting to me being around a lot more now and sometimes I think he could be manic...but then he could also be adjusting to me being more around, and also expecting more rules since we spend time together. His behaviour could very well be rebelling to the change of having more rules with me....plus he is a teenager. Anyway, all this information that i have added in this post probably can explain a lot more than my first post. Thanks for letting me share this with you all, its not so easy to share but I am getting better at sharing this since I have been working on a lot of things in my life.