Discussions that mention prozac

Family & Friends of the Mentally Ill board


I am now dealing with a depressed son and my husband and I are struggling with the disease. My son is 20 and is a very talented musician. This is not my imagination as he attends the best music conservatory in the country and is considered one of the best students in the world at his instrument. In the last year I have seen my normal (maybe I'm kidding myself) talented child get to the point where he has taken a leave of absence from school and only with effort gets out of bed before noon. We have him in therapy with a therapist who is a musician also and he is taking Prozac (he is now on the highest dose). He also takes Adderall because he says he can't concentrate. He can't sleep so he takes Ambien.
He has not picked up his instrument in a month. My husband and i wanted him to go to a regular college (he had full rides to wherever he wanted) but he wanted the conservatory and after 2 years he missed real learning and yet he doesn't seem to want to give up music. He doesn't seem to want to do ANYTHING. The only exception is his job waiting tables at night. He readily goes to work at the restaurant that he had worked at for over 4 years. This confuses me as I would think that if you are depressed, you would not suddenly at 3Pm take a shower and head off to work most times happily.
We have told him he can do whatever he wants, not go back to the conservatory, go back if he wants, go to a regular college, whatever, just find something he is happy doing. The problem is he has no motivation to do anything.
I don't even want to go home when he is there. I was a really happy person until this last year but this has been so emotionally draining to both my husband and I. My very gentle, kind husband is at the end of his rope and I seem to be in the middle all the time between the two of them. We have been going to see his therapist also as we want to help him and be on the same page when it comes to how to deal with this.
I can't imagine being so talented and yet having no joy. I think part of the whole thing was breaking up with his girlfirend, which was a mutual decision and they remain friends and talk often, but i think he needs that partnership/companionship desperately and yet because he rarely goes out how can he meet someone. Catch 22???
How do all of you out there handle this? Any suggestions on parenting a depressed 20 year old?
Thanks for listening.

Tundracat
I guess what i meant to say is that we are struggling with HIS disease. Before this happened my husbnad and i were happy as larks as both the kids were away at school and we were relishing our new independent life. In fact we were having a great time with new activities and fixing up the house and gardens a bit. Now we spend all our time on him. It is exhausting to both of us as we never seem to know who will wake up in the morning the sad or glad son.
I do believe he could use a girlfriend. His past love (still friends) was also a musician but she also battled depression as i have heard many artistic people do.
He had been on Prozac for about 8 months and it is obvious to me it is not working, but not to the shrink. My husband went in with him to the psychiatrist last time and said the prozac wasn't working so he upped it to the max dose. I would rather just the behavioral therapy but I've never been depressed so I'm willing to let him take some meds.
God I hate this!

Tundracat
Maybe I spoke less lucidly than normal. I have spent the last two nights cradeling my so very sad son in my arms. He told me last night that he can't remember the last time he was happy and we talked through the night trying to figure out when this whole thing started. He also told me he has been very dizzy, so my husband immediately took him to the doctor's office this morning. His ears are okay, but his BP was 90/60, and i am trying to find out if this is typical of Prozac to lower the blood pressure. They are doing alot of bloodwork, but i imagine it will all be normal.
The only thing we want for our son is happiness. I never cared what he wanted to do as long as he could make a living and be happy. My husband and i have done everything we know how to help him but the reason I am writing to this board is because we are getting no answers.
I guess I mispoke or didn't make myself clear about him coming back to live with us. I took a new job after the kids went to college because i didn't feel I needed to be home all the time and i have to travel and now I have left the a good part of dealing with this with my dear husband. Yes I was happy to be starting a new job as I had stuck with the last one so I could be home for my sons. And I never regretted it, but now I need to be home and i feel guilty when I leave. yes, I loved the travelling of my new job but now I just have guilt about it. that's what I meant by being happy before he came back. My son is a very sensitive loving kid, but he keeps so much inside and finally he has been opening up to me in the last two nights. I have never dealt with this and insurance companies don't make it easy to get the kind of help he needs. I guess i am just so very frustrated for him that he can't see any light at the end of this dark tunnel.

Tundracat