Tiger, Goody & Forgotton1 Incredible exchange here! I understand your pain. Goody and Forgotten1 have done a masterful job trying to shed light. I am in the same situation, and know how unbelievable it is to live through this illness. My wife "lost control" about 2 years ago and did everything you could possibly do to ruin a relationship. I hung in and did everything possible to stop what was happening. I could not stop anything. the harder I tried the further she ran. when I took a step back she would take a step to me, total push pull. it was like in her mind, go away, but not too far. I would just break contact for a while then I would get an e-mail or txt msg asking me somthing not important. I believe just trying to stay in contact, but if I moved close she would get nasty. she was able to control my emmotions it was aweful. I think that she had no control over herself so controling my feelings gave her some feeling of being in control of something. I really liked what forgotten1 wrote about when he said that your friend is probably running away from the damage she has done. i belive this true for my wife as well. I believe she is embarrased by her actions and the hurt she caused to me my family and our babies, that in her mind it is easier to pick up and run and start over. I know exactly what you are saying about how she is with other people, my wife seems happier than ever, which really hurts, but her actions now are so far out of charactor from what I know of her that I believe it is an act. she is doing things now that have always disgusted her in the past. It is bitterly painful to see. a few months ago my wife switched dr.'s and the new dr. diag her with depression w/anixety then put her on prozac. My initial reaction was, watch out! no mood stabalizer? well in a couple of weeks of prozac she has filed for divorce has all new friends 10-15 years younger than her. doesn't seem to care about anyone but herself. sometimes I wonder when she will crash, or even if she will. I get to wondering if it was just me sometimes. what you have to do is wait (i know it's impossible) but I think that, like goody said, her daughter used all her energy to "maintain" while with friends, that when she got home she exploded on the ones that cared the most. So take youself away and who does she have to expode on? sooner or later she will lash out at a new friend/lover and that person may not be as understanding as you. then maybe she will see the value of your friendship.