Discussions that mention soma

Back Problems board

Hi my name is Deecy
Wow, so much of what I am reading sounds like my story. I have chest pains off and on. I am nervously moving always. Like have to make sure my finger nails are smoothe along with the rest of my skin. My eyebrows have been scratched away and I am so ashamed of the lack of mind control.
I have cuticles/skin that make me hide my hands. It hurts so bad to apply medicine on anything.
I don't socialize much anymore and seem to think I will never get anyone to understand. Dr.s that is...
Previously I have had a 2 level neck fusion18 years ago and now it is so bad I can't work. I have arthritis, stenosis with severe degeneration above and below the fusions.
My knees are wearing down had 3 surguries on right knee. Arthritis is diagnosed. I have had my thyroid (left side) removed because of a mass that was growing. (was benign) I take thyroid meds. Lost a bunch of hair, and still do at times. I had carpel tunnel surgery and it was successful. yeah!
I can type and write again but the depression keeps holding me back. I have Tinitus (ringing in the ears) and 50% hearing loss on the right side. I need a hearing aide but can't afford one.
I get relief from laying down, being in a pool, sleeping for the most part, I take minimal drugs/seriously I don't want to end up on morphine patches etc..
I am taking meds for depression,(effexor) 2
pain, (darv n-100) 2x
and muscle relaxer, (soma). 2x
I am at the point now that I think the pain is less horrible than the anxiety, but not really. I have imagined death and wanting it. I am going to Alanon for my pain issues for self help. I am attending an aftercare group
(last one this month) of which I went through a wonderful pain clinic in-patient for 3 weeks last July. They told me chiropractic was a bandaide and same with meds and massages. They all help but haven't gotten help with chiro or massages since the in patient treatment in July.
I have met some people with pain issues but I am still feeling so lost and out of control. Not much of a will. I do pray for God to relieve my anxiety if not the pain.
And then I think, that it could be for a reason, and I have to figure out why. I feel worthless and useless to anyone. I have 2 girls 18 & 15. One is in college and the 15 yr old is very independant. So I am not needed much. Work was a way I fullfilled myself.
Do I need anxiety medicine or just a new mind.
I can't relax hardly ever. Please Help if you can.
Sincerely greatful for your time,