I just want to start out by saying....." Thank you, Thank you"
I am a long time Ultram user, I've been on these boards a loooong time , I don't usually post, I just read and gain knowledge, understanding and most importantly strength, Thank you to everyone out there who share their stories, you save lives. & Thank you God for giving me a second chance.
So I guess I'm Secondchance08 , I decided on this name because this is my second time recovering from Ultram addiction, I took my last one on 12/25/07 I said "this is it, this is a second chance and probably my last chance, by 2008 I WILL be done, clean and sober. If I don't get it right this time I never will."
With that said, here I am 10 days later Ultram free. I'm not saying I feel 100 % better and normal ( what is normal ? ) but I'm functioning with out them and that's all that matters right now, one day at a time, each day is better than the last one.
All I really wanted to get through is that take it from me, I have been to hell and back, "twice!" and YES, ULTRAM are VERY addicting. I will argu it with any "Doctor" or Scientist" in the world who claims they are not addicting. Bs!!
I have taken a lot of pain meds over my years of abuse and Ultram by far has been the worst most seemingly IMPOSSIBLE drug to withdrawl from and stay off of. I made the mistake most everyone does being "green" to it all that I thought I could take one here and there and be able to control it knowing what I had been through before with my first recovery. Well, I relapsed into a 4 month fog. Very naive of me to think that I could dip and dab with it again.
Like any drug and the reasons people start taking them, the legitamacies , the tragic pains in their lifes , etc etc; everyone is different , everyone has their own story but this is my exerience with Ultram and if someone wants to know if they are addicting?" I'm going to say " %$# Yes!!" STOP now!
You'll get to a point to where you can't even get up out of bed without them. One pill or two turns into you needing 8 or 12 ( or more) to get through the day , all the while you STILL feel like you got hit by a bus. It changes who you are, after a while you realize all the things you once cared about and use to love to partake in are that of a distant memory. You'll treat people differently and pay attention less. You have your moments where you think you're normal and happy but in reality it's all false, you're really stuck in a fog, high on pills. Then, when you try to STOP them because you're soooo sick of the mental anquish, there's no other way for me to explain it other than it's like the Devil coming out of you . You won't think you're going to make it, it's like you're sat on the edge of a cliff while someones torturing you, you try to keep from falling off. It will take every little bit of will power in you to surrvive and over come them. You will be fighting for your life because you litterally feel like you're going to die from the pain and suffering.
I could go on and on and it may help one single person out there decide against it or... maybe not but I can only hope that it might put a "second thought" in someones decision.
Save yourself now, flush them down the drain, and then don't EVER look back .
Best of Luck ~