Discussions that mention ultram

Addiction & Recovery board

Hi, I just joined this message board because I wanted to respond to jerry43 and to vicky. I am currently taking sub and have been for about 1 year. I may need to be on it for the rest of my life because of my prior abuse. I was taking about 240 mg. of morphine, 30 norcos, 4 somas, klonopin (I can't remember the dosage), and xanax (about 4 mgs.). Sometimes I would also add a few vicodin, vicodin es, and ultram. I was taking this much for about 2 years without much variation in dosage or mix. Towards the end, I was also drinking about 750 ml. (a fifth) of vodka a day. My weight had fallen dramatically and people around me thought I was going to die. I tried going completely "clean" but I was severly depressed and emotionally flat. I couldn't feel anything in my life, good or bad. My psychiatrist was worried that I would relapse or worse commit suicide. He then prescribed sub and it was amazing. I started feeling normal again, not high. I currently take 14 mgs. of sub a day. My doctor is planning on weaning me but is being careful because he also thinks that my abuse may have permanently damaged my nerves, brain chemistry and opiate receptors. My profession doesn't allow me to be "high" and I am in a voluntary diversion program. The program is supportive of my sub use and actually recommended it. I consider myself to be clean and don't view sub any differently than taking an antidepressant. I have heard of people in my AA home group who have died because their sponsor believed that they weren't sober unless they were off of all medication. I believe that sub is no different from the SSRI antidepressants because in my brain it produces the same results. I would do whatever your doctor recommends but I think that each person is different and needs to follow a respectable doctor's recommendations about their medication. I say "respectable" because there are doctors out there who are just legitimate pushers. I think there isn't one solution for everyone and if jerry43 is being honest with himself and not just replacing one addiction for another, he is just as sober as someone who is completely "clean". Just my opinion. Good luck and best wishes on your treatment.
I have been on Sub for almost 2 months now. I abused Ultram for 2 years and Vicodin and Percocet for 1 year prior to my taking Sub. Doc started me on 2 mgs/day after being in full blown wd's for 3 days. Within 20 minutes I felt normal again. I don't know if I felt buzzed but I felt it evened me out immediately if you know what I mean. I honestly thought it was a magic pill.

The doc prescribed only 2 mg's a day and wanted me to be tapered off within a couple of months. For 2 weeks I did what doc told me to do. He wanted me to then alternate days of taking it and I tried to do it but I told myself that I couldn't. That should have been my warning sign. So anyway, here I am 2 months later and no closer to stopping. For the past month, I have been taking anywhere from 6 - 12 mg's a day depending on how I feel.

I went back to doc today and came clean about what I have been doing. I am now going back to 2 mg's a day and hoping to be done within the next month.

I don't know if the Sub route was what I should have done. I was in full blown panic when I started and it got me through the percocet wd's. I have made the decision today that I am going to listen and follow doc's orders to the letter. I don't want to be dependent on medication for the rest of my life. This is what is right for me and I am not judging anyone who chooses differently.

It is very easy to get caught up in abuse and you need to be very careful and thoroughly aware of your behavior. My taking more Sub than prescribed was me slipping back into that same kind of behavior that I associate with my abuse of pain meds. I am going to take the next month and try to change that behavior. Addicts can abuse anything so just be sure that you trust your doctor and ask him/her what the long term plan is. If you want to eventually stop taking Sub then you need to have a plan in place and be completely honest with your doctor.