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Addiction & Recovery board


This is going to sound rediculous, but this is getting serious.

I've been on a steady stream of Vicodin for three years now, and it may not seem all that much to some, but it's slowly killing me. I have serious spinal issues, due to a birth issue that left one leg noticably shorter than the other, and has affected the way that I walk. My PCP started me out on Vicodin ES to help manage the pain, and to sleep. Problem is, the vicodin doesn't make me sleep, it makes me chatty and hyper, and the euphoria side effect is why I take the meds. I forget the pain, and I'm pleasant for that hour or two. Problem is, I'm taking up to ten doses a day. And it isn't just 7.5s. Ive been on Norco, also. I know what drug does what, and its not hard to get my doc to perscribe what I need.

I don't take the meds to just get high. My pain levels are so bad even walking is hard, but I want to stop the vic. I can't take Ultram, and I've tried a lot of other meds, but nothing else helps control the pain. I can't take the withdrawl effects though. I want to die when I run out, like all of last week. But, I have to hide that I am taking the meds from my boyfriend. Its stupid. I feel like I'm a junkie, and maybe I am. Can somebody please tell me, what can I do?