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Sexual Health - General board

Men masturbate for the same reason everyone else masturbates.

They masturbate because it feels good, it's convenient, it's clean, there's no worrying about pregnancy or disease, no worry about whether you're properly pleasuring or hurting your partner, no 'goal' other than your own blatant self-gratification. It's cheaper than a valium and you can still drive afterwards, it's a moment to yourself, a private time to do nothing but make yourself happy.

Maybe this is the reason why you have a problem with it? Try probably.

To understand this, understand that sex and masturbation are two very different things, that sex is a two-person job, masturbation is a private moment to forget all your problems. Sex can be awkward and physically demanding, has many different emotional what-ifs attached to it. Masturbation is totally commitment-free. You don't have to phone your hand in the morning.

If you feel like you're doing something wrong in bed, perhaps you should discuss this with your husband. I'm sure he'll tell you the same thing I am -- that it has zero to do with you, and if it does, it's because he's thinking about you while he's masturbating! I would suggest that if you have a huge huge problem with this and you can't get over it, perhaps you should talk to somebody like a counsellor to help figure out how to get around it.

As for masturbating before sex, sometimes the excitement can make men feel inadequate, or like bad lovers, because the anticipation builds and they tend to 'go' very quickly. So they'll masturbate before sex so as to numb themselves up a bit and make things more enjoyable for YOU.