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Oh no Blue, I am so sorry to hear this news. My heart really aches for you, who of all people, certainly does not deserve to have to overcome one difficult obstacle after another! I thought of you several times today while I was down at Mayo getting poked and prodded and having blood drawn and another 2 hour long MRI done in that claustrophobic coffin in between throwing up from all the valium they had to give me just to get in there...through it all I hoping so hard that I was having the most difficult day of anyone here, especially you! It makes me so sad for you, sweetie, to hear that this was not the case :confused:. By the way I am truly touched that you took time out from everything you're going through to be here for me and concerned about me both physically and emotionally...I am feeling a little less sad, on and off you know, and physically it's about the same. To quickly answer your questions, my pain almost exactly mimics the condition called trigeminal neuralgia, but is not a typical case because it was caused by nerve damage during surgery. I haven't responded to the usual treatments for such nerve pain which makes mine a murky case...these conditions are pretty rare and all a little different so the official diagnoses are vague. My particular chronic pain can be categorized as either atypical trigeminal neuralgia or atypical (neurological) facial pain. The odds of it clearing up on its own don't seem very high but I thank you for the very inspiring story and am trying hard not to give up hope because I know wonderful, dramatic turnarounds happen everyday for people facing much more drastic obstacles than mine. Thank you again for caring enough to reach out to me during such a difficult time...I only wish I could do more for you in return other than offer you unwavering love and support along with your other buddies here.

One thing that jumped out at me is your understandable concern over what your son said...if I may try to ease your fears in that regard a bit, I remember quite clearly what it felt like to be in his position and wanting to lash out and hurt my parents to vent my own frustrations. My favorite way of pushing their buttons, which I only resorted to when I was really upset, was to say exactly what your son is saying: "you don't understand anything, I don't know why I even bother listening to you or trying to do the right thing, what does it matter anyway? I might as well just go ahead and _____ like everyone else I know..." For what it's worth, he is only lashing out because he doesn't know how else to express his emotions and he knows that making those sort of threats is a very effective way to rattle you. He is not going to go out and do anything stupid, at least not anything he's not doing already, so please try not to let his outburst weigh too heavily on you as you try and cope with everything else piled onto your plate. You have done everything you can to raise him to be as wise, mature and responsible as possible, and now you have to trust him to follow through on your teachings. I'm sure he is a great kid and though he's feeling understandably scared, angry, and frustrated, deep down I hope you know that he loves you and doesn't want to hurt you...he is not going to take any foolish risks, he just wanted to make the threat because it was the only way he could think of to vent at the time. Please trust that your wonderful mothering has taken hold and that you can count on your son to make smart choices and make you proud...I know this must be very stressful and difficult for him as well as you, but that doesn't mean he's going to stop being responsible and well-behaved. All you can do is let him know how much you love him and trust him and that you will do everything in your power to be there for him no matter what pops up in other areas of your life.

Deep down teenagers really are looking for reassurance that although everything in their lives seems to be changing at a frighteningly quick speed, their parents will always be there to provide unconditional love, support, and understanding no matter what the outside world throws in their paths. Don't let your son see that he's worrying you or he will know that he's hit a nerve he can revisit in the future...instead of reacting negatively with anger, fear, or lectures, give him what he is really desperately fishing around in search of: love, support, and understanding. I remember so well that powerless feeling of everything changing as a teenager, especially when things like having a car seemed like the most important issue EVER, and to cope with financial stress on top of the normal teenage stuff must be tough on your son. I hope that doesn't make you feel worse or anything--trust me, your son knows you are a wonderful and loving mother doing everything humanly possible to provide a stable, secure life for her family. I am sure he respects and admires you more than he can tell you and that the last thing he wants is to cause you more stress...I remember so clearly being in his shoes (though I was fortunate to have divorced parents who didn't argue or have financial worries) and wanting nothing more than my mom to come hug me and tell me everything was okay even though I'd just acted like a spoiled brat to her. I can truly tell that your son isn't meaning to do anything wrong; he's just scared and really wanting to know that his parents will always take care of things no matter what happened and that the world he knows isn't going to disappear into thin air one day. Hopefully that made some sense and helps a bit...

I am so sorry to hear about the car and hot tub problems on top of everything else...is there anyway to appeal the hot tub thing, or at least sell it to bring in some extra cash? I only hope things look up for you and your family soon, as you truly deserve to be happy and at peace. I will wish your husband all the best of luck with the job...it does sound like they like him and want him and as long as they don't see his back as too big of a liability, he should be a shoo-in for the job. You guys deserve to have your luck turn-around...here's hoping that next week will bring a dramatic reversal of fortune for the entire Blue family! Hang in there just a little longer and I just know things will work out well for you and your family! :) :angel: :wave: