Discussions that mention valium

Addiction & Recovery board


Hello everyone. This is my first time posting on this forum, but I have lurked a little bit on and off for a few weeks. My serious boyfriend, has a prescription drug problem. He's recently admitted that he is addicted and has since asked me numerous times in the last 2 months to help him overcome this problem, yet gets upset with me each time I try to. Lately he's been extremely moody, which in turn has obviously caused me to become a bit more aggitated and not quite myself. I have been a bit down over this and am now getting accused of being negative and unhappy.

Well, not to say that I am perfect in any way, we all have our downfalls, but is it too hard for him to see that maybe trying to deal with this 24 hours a day is maybe taking it's toll on me?? I'm sorry if I can't laugh at him everytime he's high and feels like being goofy while I am trying to have a serious conversation with him. Or how it's just not cute to me that I have to repeat everything 400 times before he even remembers us having a conversation about it, or on the flip-side, I am soooo tired of him telling me he's told me in detail about something that we never talked about or that he just mentioned in passing 3 weeks prior. So, to sum things up for you, not only am I trying to be patient and understanding. I am now being accused of being miserable and bringing HIM down. I feel sooooo helpless.

He takes on average (that I know about) about 30mg of oxycodone 3x per day as well as valium at times and an occasionaly lortab, vicodin or whatever he can get his hands on. He goes regularly to a doctor, (who, in my opinion is shady and a disgrace to his profession) and complains of pain in his back and gets his scripts in a few moments time, by popping in on his lunch break. He claims these doctors are not con-artists or frauds, but rather they are "trusting" and "caring" people who rely on their patients to tell THEM when it's time to stop taking the medicine. Um, is it just me, or is this backwards??

He's asked me for nearly 2 months to help him monitor his dosage and help him taper off the pills, and he volunteered me to be the keeper of his medicine and ration out his pills to where he'd only have access to "x" amount of pills for week one, then lower them in week 2, and week 3, etc. well so far we've made it to day 3 and he's already eaten all the pills he's allotted for tomorrow.

In addition, we got into a tiff this evening and he left. (nothing serious under normal circumstances, but since I'm so "negative", he's now doubting the relationship...so he says tonight anyway. Just last night he was thanking me for supporting him and telling me he hopes he never loses me and that i don't deserve to have to deal with his problems, etc.) Anyhow, on his way out the door, he leaves all of his stuff here (he spends more nights at my place than he does at his, so most of his stuff is here) but doesn't fail to snag his entire bottle of pills on the way out the door. Doesn't mind leaving everything else he owns here, including his work clothes, company vehicle, etc. - which in my opinion shows that his main priority was that his pills were safe during our argument. I did talk to him on the phone and he said he took them with him because he was afraid i would flush them down the toilet. I have never threatened to do that, so i don't know why he'd think that and it saddens me to think that this is his top priority during a time like this.

I did one time when things were seeming hopeless tell him i wanted to tell his mother about this problem so that she could help him since he obviously wasn't going to let me help him even though he asked numerous times for me to stand by him and help him through this. He flew off the handle and told me it was none of my business and to keep her out of it and he'd never talk to me again if i told her that. So...I have no one else to turn to about this and i don't know what to do.

By the way, he is in classes. He was put in drug classes for not passing a random drug test by his employer. Failed it for marijuana though, not for pills. So, he's been in classes for that and has been able to let go of that. But it just amazes me that the counselor has no idea he has this alternate lifestyle going on and that he can sit in a room with all these people - many of which whom are battling the same thing he is, but he won't speak up and that none of them NOTICE IT. No one there knows and he doesn't want them to because he's afraid he'll get stuck in the classes for a longer period of time. He's IN drug counseling and somehow snowing the counselors. And, how is he passing his drug tests? I just don't get it.

Can some one please offer any advice that may help me. I'm pretty clueless about drugs in general, at my wits end, and hopelessly in love with the real man that's hidden under all this.