Discussions that mention valium

Bipolar Disorder board

I've been in therapy for about 8 years now and Is till don't have all the answers, but I don't anyone that does for their own problems......lol.

I do pick up the slack and I do take care of both of us. It worries me sometimes because if I didn't do it all then it wouldn't get done. I know that I should give him a chance to do it, but part of my disease is to make sure **** gets done (I'm a little anal retentive that way), plus I am a worrier. I am concerned for him and I want him to be oh k.

Last night went pretty well as we went to the bar (actually 2 bars) and he didn't drink at all. He didn't even ask for one. I thought it showed restraint and I was proud of him. But he ate a bunch of valiums last night........so if it's not one thing it is another with him. The only thing he wants is to shut his mind off. That is his goal with getting trashed. The ADHD is bad on him.

If I was able to fix everything for him I would. I'd make him happy or at least content within himself if I had the power to........

I do neglect myself sometimes. I put him first. Sometimes I need to put myself first and I don't. I am learning to put my foot down with him though and tell him no once in a while. I know I need to do it more, but it's a start for me.

We had a nice night last night though. We went to a friends and hung out for 4hours, talking and listening to music. So other than the valiums, he was clean last night.

After we got home after midnight we sat and talked until 1a. Something we used to do, but got away from. We are getting back to it and I think that will be good for us.

I love him. We'll be together 3 years in March (27). I want to keep that going for us, but I know he has to help out too. I think the more that I lead him to conversations that are about us, he tends to muddle through them. He isn't a romantic, he pretty much just tells it like it is and for him, he loves me, but it is also a convenience for him to be with me.

Again, sorry for all the thoughts everywhere, just my mind going stream of consciousness again.

I really appreciate you talking with me about this.
I know I seem like all I do is gripe........I apologize to you out there that feel that way, but this is the only way I can get these things out of my system.

Last night he drank almost a half bottle of tequilla and acted like a total *******. He kept beggin me for a valium. I laid in bed and all he did was bother me and beg and yell and argue to get one valium form me. I told him no. He was already drunk and didn't need anything else. He just kept bitching and yelling and arguing until I told him, there you've pissed me off, here's your ******ing valium, hope it was worth it.

I'm still pissed at him. I don't even want to talk to him. I'm afraid I might go off and scream at him if I do talk to him.

He just can't get enough drugs. He is an addict and an ******* when he gets like that. I don't like it. These are the things that make me wonder why Ia m with him. I know I love him, but is that really enough for all the ********.


thanks for listening..........
:) thank you for that, it actually made me smiel and I am really in no shape to smile...........

this has nothing to do with my boyfriend, this one is all me.

I am just plain, all out angry and depressed. I am just sadned by the fact that I am sick and tired of others and what they think of me.

My boyfriend's friend Joe hates me because someone else lied to him (makes no sense, but he thinks I lied to him.........even though others have told him that it wasn't me but his other friend) and now our friend Luke is hearing it from his ex about me because I sent him text message. This chick is looney as all hell. I mean she needs meds and the psych ward of a hospital with intensive therapy and electroshock to make her even a tinge better.

So, anyhow, I am just really fed up with things and I don't want to put up with it any longer.

I just took a valium because I was shaking so much from the anger.

Why can't people just quit with the drama.

I would like there to be minimal amounts in my life. I found a great guy and I want to just stick with him and all the problems that we have in our lives......they are enough to deal with. I mean him and I have a little list of things...........but all these other people coming in and doing dumb stuff, now that is uncalled for.

Anyhow, thanks for letting me vent. I'm still depressed, but the anger is getting smaller.
Thank you. He just drinks and gets high. that is what he does....I am learning that it is fine for him and I can't control it.

we got back from his mom's yesterday and he had been those 3 days sober, well he immeadiately cracked a beer and downed some valiums. he begged for money to go to the bar, and when I said no a few times, then he said he was going over to his friends so he could get high. it was like he was catching up on things or something.

oh well. I gather as long as I take care of me that is what matters and if he lets me help him in the process then yay for us.

I do love him, a lot, but I am also trying to keep a little distance so if it ends up where he has to leave, then I don't break down so terribly. Hope it works because I feel pretty close to him each day.

love sucks sometimes.........lol