Discussions that mention valium

Addiction & Recovery board

Thanks y'all. Well, I made it through 2 days!!! Sleep sure is a *****. Wow, legs kicking, tossing and turning. Thank goodness I had some valium and soma put back so I was able to take those and get back to sleep. My back is killing me today. It's so ironic that when I started this nightmare, my ex-husband used my back problems (that weren't bothering me) as an excuse to get pills- for him. When I left him, I still had all the scripts and started taking them myself. Now my back really does hurt! Well, I told my mom and brother the truth and my mom is staying with me to help out with my daughter. Boy, the mood swings are a *****! I was yelling at my little girl last night and just hating myself. But I hate myself most of all for being a drug addict. So I guess it's worth it. I don't want to go on methadone. I know a girl who does it and she is like a walking junkie on that stuff. Not only that but you have to go there every morning. Who wants to bring their innocent 5 year old to a methodone clinic everyday? (She's too young for school now.) But ok, here comes day 3. I have a job interview tomorrow and I hope I can pull it off. Wish me luck!
I remember your user name and situation! I also remember thinking your posts were a danger sign.

I was being steered off the board too because I was getting meds for chronic pain and others felt I had a legitimate need and it didn't fall in the addiction category. I knew I was slipping though. I was probably at 8 - 10 a day when I read your posts and thought, "she sounds a lot like me when I started slipping". I was up to 20-22 a day when I had had enough of the pills running my life.

The restless legs was the worst w/d for me - that and the back pain which was unGodly. Do you have enough Soma and Valium to last you awhile? They will help a lot.

I agree with staying busy! I would get kinda crazy if I wasn't doing something. I would just sit and think about how everything would feel so much better if I just had some pills. I'd promise myself that this time I would ration them and wean down gradually - HA! I knew I couldn't do that because I'd tried many times before. As soon as I'd get my script I'd down a handful because I was hurting so much and desperate.

To stay busy I would take my dog out for long walks. It got me outside in the sunshine and that helped my mood and the walking helped my back some. Plus it eased my guilt because I'd been beating myself up for being neglectful of my family - so I felt if I could at least make the dog happy, I wasn't such a horrible person! :D

Our finances are in the toilet as well but we are making it day to day. It's definitely a struggle and in the beginning I would think "what's the point, we're screwed anyway I might as well use". But I held it together long enough to get past the physical w/d's and the depression that followed and now I'm 7 months clean! It wasn't easy and sometimes I still think about them, but then I remember how my life was not my own with those damn things and I'm happier with the control I have now.

Good luck - we'll be rooting for you! :bouncing:
I understand the valium helps, but by all means don't use any more than you need...that stuff is horribly addictive as well.
Thanks guys! I DID IT! I'm a huge bawling mess, but no pills! OK Phil, I guess I lied a bit to you. I got a call from my ex boyfriend, (I called him a crying mess) and he didn't even care to talk to me, just wanted to tell me how great he and his current are. I filled up a big cup of wine and went in the hot tub with my daughter. Didn't drink it all though, and didn't want pain pills. Actually it relaxed me and I think I can go to sleep now without valium or anything. I called my brother who cold turkey'd off of oxycontin last year or so (who was a complete a-hole at first) and he was finally supportive. Well, as supportive as he knows how to be! I got his "tough love." I told him that while I'm sweating and having chills and runs and my body is screaming for pills, not the best time to criticize the choices I make in life. Sheez! But I made it! I am proud of myself. :)
Thanks everyone. And Gina, you can do it too. While you are waiting for your quit date, it might be a good time to try to taper down. It's a helluva lot easier to quit 4 than 40. I'm not saying it's not hard. It is. But look at what happened to me. I thought I had it all under control. I quit for a few days at 4 pills a day and thought I was cool, I had it under control. But tolerance builds like crazy!!! I was taking 6 at a time and all I would get woud be heartburn. 3 days. I see a light at the end of the rainbow!!!!
Hi Gina, Phil, Holly and everyone else who cares,
Today was the most trying day ever!!!!!
But I am proud to say that I did not take any pain pills! woo Hoo! :bouncing:
I went to get my taxes done at one of those places that gives you the money right there. I am so behind on bills, let's just say the last bills I paid were the ones due in Nov/Dec. OK, so I got a refund- $4000. OMG, I was so happy, no foreclosure, I won't be homeless, thank God. oh but wait. I filed bankruptcy this year. That means that the dear old IRS gets to keep my money, and they might send to the bankruptcy judge, bankruptcy lawyer, or there is a SLIM chance I'll see it. I could hardly contain my tears as I left, bawled the whole way home, got in bed and cryed myself to sleep. My poor daughter doesn't understand why mommy is sick and sad. She got her piggy bank and offered to help me. I usually don't talk money around her but I was telling my mom enough for her to get the gist that I'm screwed. Sheez. I wanted a pill so bad. I told my mom even how bad I wanted one, a whole friggin handful! I needed to be numb. But I took a xanax and went to bed instead. I know it's dangerous- not going to substitute one addiction for another, and I've always gravitated to the uppers, not the downers. Xanax/valium put me to sleep. Vicodins/norcos revved me up. Or so I thought. I talked to a friend who told me to just put it all on God. I can't handle it anymore myself. It's true. So I'm giving this to God. I'm praying that the government will have mercy on me and let me have the money that was taken out of my checks all year when I was working. So my daughter and I won't be homeless. I'm praying to God to give me strength to fight my addiction, and to win. Tomorrow is day 5. This is the longest I've gone without pain pills since I left my husband, and that was over 3 years ago. Pretty good, huh? Boy today was a TEST! Thanks for everyone's support. Y'all have no idea how much it's helped. When I was about to cave, I would read what you all wrote and it's given me so much strength. Thank you so much.