Sweet55, you need to calm down. There is no need for this to be painful. And if all you've communicated to your doctor is "ouch",etc, you need to take control of this situation. BEFORE you undress, ask to speak to the doctor. Tell her that it has been very painful in the past and that you need help with this process. Also ask if taking a valium beforehand would help. A pediatric speculum is a smaller one used for children (pediatric, get it?). You can ask for that as well. But you need to take control of this and not just expect the doctor or nurse to "get" what's going on. Good luck!