Discussions that mention valium

Addiction & Recovery board


Hi everyone. Some of you remember me but for those of you who don't, a very brief history:
I was addicted to hydro/oxy for over 2 years. I even took it while pregnant with my 2 year old daughter (who by some miracle came out fine). At my worst I was taking upwards of 400 mg/day of oxy. I tried to quit by going cold turkey about 3 times. I even considered going on suboxone. But I was able to do it this last time and have not abused the pills for almost 4 months now (I have taken a pill or 2 for legit. pain, but they were controlled by my husband and that was only aout 4 dif. times). I quit taking the hydro/oxy without weening off, as I had tried to ween many times only to fail miserably. I jumped off and took Tramadol for about a week to help make the w/d less unbearable. Then I stopped taking the Tramadol. I experienced some physical w/d like sweating and restlessness, but nothing like what I'd experienced the times I quit and didn't take Tramadol. The physical uncomfortableness lasted about 4 days, then some MAJOR anxiety kicked in. I took ambien at night to help me sleep, although I only slept maybe 3 or 4 hours a night for those first 5 nights. When the anxiety hit, I thought I would surely cave in. I had never felt anything that bad before. I took 5mg valium a few times a day to take the edge off, but I think that anxiety caused by detoxing is in a league of it's own and nothing can really take it away except for time. And sure enough, after about 48 hours of being in a state of sheer panic, it broke. I began to feel more "normal" by day 6 and it only got better from there. My energy was the slowest to return. I think I had little to no energy for about 4 or 5 weeks after detoxing, but even that gets better as your body heals. You have to keep reminding yourself that after years of abuse, your body is not going to just snap back to it's pre-addiction state over night. You just have to be patient.

I just want to tell all the people on this board who are going through w/d now or are afraid to go through it that it does not last forever. The horrible feelings that you think will NEVER go away, they do. The depression and anxiety DO go away. You WILL feel normal again. It IS possible to feel not just normal, but GOOD without the help of an opiate. I know that it feels like you are a "Better" mother, father, husband, wife, worker, housekeeper, golfer, karaoke-er etc. on the pills, but that is so untrue. How could being a slave to any substance make you considerably better at anything other than lying, steeling, hiding, making up excuses? Life is so much better when you are not constantly worried about where your next fix will come from, or if doctor A will find out about doctor B, or if your husband will find out about all that money you wasted.

LIFE IS DOABLE - CLEAN! YES IT'S TRUE!!! YOU CAN HAVE A HAPPY PRODUCTIVE LIFE WITHOUT THE PILLS!!!

I didn't think it was possible. I had all but resigned myself to the fact that I would need to be on Sub maintanance for the rest of my life! But I decided to try one more time...........and I did it.
You can too.
Be strong.
Post.
Good luck to us and all the addicts out there that want to kick the habit. It's not easy, but it is possible. I'm the proof!
God Bless
Amy