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Addiction & Recovery board

Hi everyone. A little background info for ya:
I am a 31 year old married mother to a 3 1/2 year old daughter. I began using pain pills legitimately when I was 20 for pain in my hands and wrists caused by a condition called deQuere Vanes Syndrome, which is massive swelling in certain tendons of the hands and wrists. I would take hydro 5's or 7.5's for a few weeks then suffer mild wd's and stay off for a month or two then back again and around it went. Then I met my most recent doctor about 3 years ago. He put me on a steady regimen of oxycontin and vicoprofen and I allowed myself to believe that I needed these drugs every day to stay pain free, when in fact I was always subconsciousely aware that I was fooling myself. The doctor prescribed 50 mg's OC 2x's a day with vicoprofen 4 times a day for break through pain. Soon I became tollerant to this dose and started supplimenting with more vicoprofen that I got from a different doctor, plus any oxy I could get my hands on. Sometimes I'd buy it from people, other times I'd buy it then sell it at a premium so that I had money for some of my own. I would sell other scripts that I got (ie valium, ambien) so I could buy more oxy. On about 10 occations I couldn't get oxy, so I sniffed heroin. I am ashamed of all of these behaiviors, but here comes the real kicker. About 4 months ago a nurse from my md's office approached me and I knew that she was on pain management for fibromyalgia, and she offered to write me extra scripts, which I would fill, then split with her. For the last 4 months It's been like a kid in a candy store. My tollerance has gone through the roof and my oxy usage almost double because of the accessibility. I finally decided that enough is enough. I am starting suboxone in 2 days. The plan is to take 2 8mg tabs 2x's a day for 3 days then to titrate down 2 mgs every 2-3 days until I'm off. I've been told by both the sub doc and 2 friends who've done exactly that that I will have little to now wd. But I'm scared to death. I know that I need counceling and support to prevent relapse. I have an apt with a psych. with addiction certification on Friday and, well, I found this board, so I'm hoping that I can get through the mental stuff and stay clean....that is, if I can actually GET clean in the next couple of weeks. I don't want to do maintanance. I want to have another baby so I need to be clean. Has anyone done a short taper with sub? Can anyone tell me what to expect the first few days on it? And what to expect when I jump off at the end? I work part time and cant really miss much work, but I will if my sobriety depends on it. Any advice from anyone who has used sub at all would be so appreciated. I'm scared witless of quitting, but ever more scared of not quitting. This life has gotten old and dangerous and pathetic. I want off this ride. Please, any and all comments are welcomed and appreciated.
Addicted in NJ
Hey G8trfan, thanks for the info. I guess It's not as easy as they make it out to be. They make you feel like you'll switch to sub and go home to your normal life. I will be prepared to suffer for a few days. I'm starting sub Friday, so that gives me the weekend to lay on the couch writhing in agony. The sweating has always been the worst for me. I'm a sweatie person to begin with (sexy, I know) but the wd sweats take the cake! I need this chance at normalcy so badly. I am glad to hear that you were able to stick it out and am now clean. It gives me hope. Also, I have tapered to using just vicoprofen for 4 days now, and although I feel the difference I am still able to stathe off withdrawal. My doc said this would go much smoother if I were off oxy for a week before starting sub. I have plenty of valium and ambien (my other doc gave me a months supply every month, but I would use maybe 4 or 5 of each a month so I've been hoarding them) so I will make sure I use them. It also will help to come on this board and vent. Thank you for your reply and anyone else who wants to weigh in please, good or bad, I need to hear it.