Discussions that mention vicodin

Addiction & Recovery board

Thanks for your reply. It is really comforting to be able to help another person, while telling my own story. I've never had to oppurtunity to confide in other people without wondering if they'll tell all my friends and family members about my past mistakes. My husband is a former addict of pain pills, and we just have the un-said agreement about our addictions. If him and I were to sit down and talk about all my feelings toward pills, we would both be drug addicts AGAIN.
I kinda quit cold turkey. I hid my addiction from my husband for 2 years, which is another reason why I have a hard time expressing my views to my hubby. There is still a lot of anger and resientment about the past. When my husband found out about all the meds I was taking, he was pretty angry, considering the fact that the whole reason why he quit was because of me nagging him about it. But here I was doing what I had wanted him to quit. When he found my stash of stuff, he was mad. I had 100mg of oxy, 5 vicodin, 3 darvocet, and a few ultracet. Just to tick me off, he took my oxy for himself. Which he rubbed in my face the whole next day when he was all messed up, and I was feeling like crap. Which really sucked.
He gave me the other pills, and told me I could have them to help me w/d. I started off taking 2 vicodin the first day, which helped, but wasn't what I wanted. When I was a hard-core, I was injecting oxy and fetynal in my arms, which is the BEST rush ever. Better than any other feeling I have ever had in my life. Oxy had a good rush, but fetynal was even better. The way it consumes your whole body in just a few short minutes is incrediable. So, when I took pills, it just wasn't the same. The 2nd day I took only 1 vicodin, day 3, 2 darvies, day 4 1 darvie, after that just 1 ultracet a day until all my pills were gone. I really do believe that this DID help me. In the past when I would go a few days with nothing, because I couldn't get anything, I felt to much worse than I did when I finally quit. Maybe it was because all that anxiety was there, wondering when I could get my next fix. So nervous that it wasn't coming fast enough. But when I finally quit, I knew I was done, there wasn't that worry when I'm going to get my fix, because I knew it wasn't comming.
Yes, I had heartburn, cold night sweats, horrible nightmares, and pleanty of stomach trouble. I was throwing up, had the runs, and just felt like a pile of crap for what I had done to my family. The depression was terrible. After a month or so, I couldn't take the nightmares anymore. I went and got a patch. I jacked the ammount that used to make me feel normal, but this time it was TOO MUCH!!! I was so sick. Fetynal makes you so sick, and I look back at how much I did, and how often I was sick, and I wonder why I was doing such a terrible thing to my body. With fetynal, you get a huge rush, feel good for about 5-10 minutes, than the sickness sets in, but you're so messed up that it doesn't bother you that you are throwing up every 5 minutes. So I guess my withdrawls were no different than when I was using, the only difference is, I didn't have anything to numb the pain anymore.
Ok, I'll quit blabbing know. It just feels good to get all this off my chest.
My only problem now is, I was good for months, and felt good about it, but now it's like I've gone tooooo long without it, and I need it now. I find myself searching around, hoping that something might just fall from the sky and F*** me up. It's good to hear what you are going through, It's a good reminder to me why I need to stay sober. I hope for the best for you. Keep me posted on how you are doing, and how you feel. I'm more than happy to help you, and remind you how good AND terrible pills are. STAY STRONG!!!!!