Discussions that mention vicodin

Addiction & Recovery board

Couldn't sleep - surprise to me. I am backsliding the worst tonight. I am so ready to move into this sober living home tomorrow. I thought I had hit my bottom when I chose to get clean off of Narxcotics and Xanax, but now I think have really hit my bottom.
Tonight, I was stressed in the environment I am in, it has been this way for years, and how sad is this - I didn't think before I did this stupid act.
About an hour ago, this med cocktail went down my throat:
-2mg Ativan
-10mg Ambien
-1 Vicodin
-1 Flexeril
-Seroquel for sleep
-1 Vistaril
To me, that is a lot. Does anyone else see what those meds combined can do to an 'average' human being? I am concerned, I am dizzy and will be going to bed asap. I went one day without the Vicodin, and hadn't taken the Flexeril for many months. What do I need to throw down the trash/garbage disposal? I called my sponsor, and after telling her that the new owner of the home I'm going to said to give the Vicodin over, because someone may need itand it is expensive, my sponsor couldn't believe she said that, as an owner of a sober living home. So, I am a little bit confused and getting sleepy from all the meds I took. I do not like where I am headed, but am praying to remain positive. I'm concerned that I won't be perfect, or even act smewhat perfect when I move in tomorrow, I feel like a gypsy and I want it all to work. I'm not proud of myself right now - wth got into me, that I chose to down those meds? I'm really worried and just want to get back on the right road, the right foot, and back into sobriety.
Thanks for reading if you did, I love this board and please bear with me in this post, I feel very vulnerable, confused, and had to fire my therapist today. For once I can finally set my boundaries and feel ok about doing so. I feel like I'm back at the beginning, new fresh happy positive beginnings -but who said recovery was easy. Now I choose if I want to stay in the pain of using or go through the pain, grow up and live life on life's terms once and for all.

Any experince would be appreciated. Truly am scared.
Thank you.