Discussions that mention vicodin

Addiction & Recovery board

I have been here several months, mainly reading and learning. I have learned alot from everyone here.

Please, if you can, offer me some advice/encourgement. I have been using Vicodin for almost a year. Started taking it for an injury, kept taking it becasue I liked it. Now I HATE it.

I guess the peak of my addiction was in December 2005. I was taking 12-16 (120-160mgs) a day of Vicodin and that was barely enough to keep the withdrawals at bay. I knew I needed help. I consulted a doctor who does suboxone treatment. She told me to cut back as much as possible before I started the suboxone therapy. So, I was able to cut back to 8 pills per day (80mgs). Then, I started the Sub therapy with her. Well, it was a total disaster. I swear, that Suboxone almost killed me. I have never been so sick in my whole life as I was those 2 days I took Suboxone.

So, Suboxone was a failure for me. That was about 6 weeks ago. I, of course, resumed taking the hydrocodone becasue the withdrawals got the best of me. I have managed to taper my dose to 6 pills per day and now to 3-4 pills( 30-40mgs). So, I have made some progress in the past 2 months. I have gone from 12-16 pills per day to 3-4 pills per day.

For the past 5 days, I cut my dose to 15-20 mgs per day and I feel like total crap. I have been worthless, I feel so bad. I am so ready to be done with this hydrocodone. I wonder if the battle to come off is really worth it? Why do you have to feel so,so bad? I want a dose so bad, I can't stand it.

My question is, do you think I will have to go thru total withdrawals when I finally get my dose down to zero mgs per day? I already feel terrible, I can't imagine having to continue on feeling like this. So tearful and just plain bad.

Any suggestions? Please!