Discussions that mention vicodin

Pain Management board

I now have one WEEKS supply. And unfortunately she is the only PM doc in my insurance plan. I was in this insurance plan for almost 2 years before I even got in with HER. If I DID switch it would be out of my insurance plan and there is just no way I could afford that.

You know, I never thought this would happen either. I 100% knew there was a possibilit that she would not refill early. But I thought it would be a "sorry this happened to you, but these are the rules" type conversation. I was prepared for that. I was prepared to have 2 weeks of pain until my next refill as that is what our contracts say. I never in a million years expected to walk in and have her start YELLING at me like that. Especially because I left them a message las tnight and they didn't call this morning. Adn I spent a half hour in the group meeting with Dan, her assistant and he never let on that she was pissed. When I first got there he even asked me what had happened if anything new had transpired overnight,etc... He seemed very interested and as I told him the story he even went so far as to laugh at some of the ridiculous things the security guard had said and his exact words were "they are covering something". He completely BELIEVED me!!!!!! You could tell. It was obvious. I would have thought that if she was as angry as she was that he could have at least warned me about it since as I was telling him teh story of what happened I was already crying. But because HE seemed to believe me and they work together 100% I felt that she must be at the same mind-set. So it was even MORE of a shock to walk in and have her first words be a verrrrrry angry "we have a major problem here". I really wish I had had a tape recorder with me. Because she was SO mean to me I don't think anyone would believe it that knows her. I was just dumbfounded. It took me a few minutes to even find my own voice I was so shocked. But then of course I was not allowed to speak. I can't count how many times I heard "I don't want to hear it".

She also told me this was my "strike two". I asked her what my strike one was since I had absolutely NO idea. She said I called for an early refill last month. Which was technically NOT true. Yes, it was earlier than 30 days but that was because SHE raised my dosage!!!!!!!!!! When I got my last (before this one that got stolen) refill she filled it at 40mg a day. But she told me that if I was having break thru pain that I should take .5 mg each time, and to keep track of it. When I told Dan that I would run out early if I did that, he said that she had made a specific note on my chart that I would need my refill early. So, when I called early for my refill there was no trouble, they asked how many I was taking extra each day and they raised my dosage to 50mg a day. That is NOT a strike against me! That is what SHE told me to do!!! So when I said that she said, "oh well, now I remember that so I guess this is strike one...but stillll......" and then went back into her tirade against me.

I thought about calling them and asking them to drug test me. Because then they would easilty see that I have NOT been overusing and have been using my 50mg a day. But then I guess they could assume that I was selling them or something. Although if I was sellling my pills I would not up to my eyeballs in the debt that I am in!!! I just can't prove this to them. Even though the cops believed me that is not enough. I don't know why she is so ready to believe the worst of me when I do NOT have a history of this sort of thing... and she and I have gotten along SOOOO well over teh past 5 months.

I guess it hurst more than anything. I've been sitting here bawling my eyes out on and off all day. I feel betrayed almost. I thought I could trust her and that she trusted me. At least enough to hear me out and give me the benefit of the doubt. Which I guess she did because she did NOT drop me (yet at least). But she was so horrible about it.

Not to mention that when I DID have trouble with the vicodin (taking too much, etc...) I went to ALL of my doctors for help. INCLUDING her. She knows taht I don't want to be a drug addict. She knows that it is my biggest fear. I don't even hold my own meds! My brother does. I even tried to tell her to call my brother and he would tell her that he gave me 68 methadone when I left for the ER yesterday. She said no. I suppose she just thinks that he would lie for me. Which he wouldn't. Taht is why I have HIM hold my meds and not my roommmate and friend. He is NOT an enabler.
So sorry all this happened to you.

I'm just trying to think of WHY she might have reacted that way.

Don't let my post get to you... I'm just going to see if I can try and see where she was coming from.

You have talked about how you were addicted, or taking too much Vicodin before, and you went to get help from all your doctors, including her.

Maybe this is something she keeps a big watch on, and anything unusual is going to be more suspicious than someone who had never had the problem of taking too much Vicodin? You may not know how much she remembers it, but maybe it's something where you do one thing wrong, and she thinks it's the old "take too much of this" Tina.

That's really the BIG reason I feel she got SO mad. Sure, I don't know your whole history or her as a person, but I would think that would be something that she'll never really forget. She shouldn't forget that type of thing, ya know? I mean... that's something that certain people struggle with, and she's got to make sure people are following the rules.

Do I believe your story? Sure! I just was sitting here today trying to think how someone could react in the way she did. I honest to God think that's probably why she was the way she was today. What do you think about that? Do you think that's a big reason?

It might be letter time. I would be doing EVERY POSSIBLE thing to review those video tapes. Contact the HEAD of the hospital, explain your story, and say you WANT to have the tapes reviewed ASAP. Shoot, if it's something that's going to affect your quality of life, I would threaten legal action (haha). Seriously, I would do anything I could to watch those tapes, to see if there was anything on there.. to see who actually picked up your purse, if anyone who was there went through your purse before the nurses picked it up... etc etc.

I would go in there to the security guard and ask him why his story changed.

I usually let my Dr's walk all over me and treat me like crap and never speak my mind (if they ever get pissy or defensive)... but I wouldn't ever let some security guard at a hospital give me the run around. Those nurses would be getting accused by me and maybe my lawyer. "We have witness and video evidence that a particular person at this hospital has taken the contents of my client's purse. We will have no other choice but to take legal action if the contents of the purse are not returned to my client by (insert time here). If they are not returned, said person will face a lawsuit, and I will win. I'm very very very good." I would basically scare the crap out of them-make them believe there's evidence against them that could be very very damning.
Oh I totally get what you are saying. Yes, I was very honest with her about my vicodin problems etc.... But she was extremely understanding and always told me to come to her and tell her if I felt I was having troubles etc... Any time I have felt that my dosage was not high enough I have told her and she has raised it with no questions etc.... So to me it seems weird that she would think that. If I wanted to or felt I needed to take more than she had prescribed I would have called her as I always have in the past. ALSO, if she thought I was abusing I would think that the easiest route to find out (and it is also one of the things I agree to in my contract) is a random drug test. If they were to test me today they would see right away that I am not abusing my meds and am taking the correct amounts. And since that's the number two list of rules on the contract, why wouldn't she have me do that?

The whole thing is really upsetting. Mostly because it was extremely unexpected. Yes, I figured she would be mad at me for being so STUPID as to leave my purse unattended. But accidents happen. Not to mention I was in the ER because I was pretty much delerious with pain at the time. I guess I just felt that she would want to sit down and have a talk with me about it. I fully expected her to ask me if I was on the up and up. To want me to give details of what happened. To want a copy of the police report....etc.... But she never even gave me the CHANCE to even tell her what happeend in the first place. All I told them in my message was that my meds were stolen at the ST Mary's ER and that I woudl talk to them about it when I saw them Thursday. Well, the situation was not that simply. My bank cards were also stolen along with all of my cash, etc... It's not like I was saying I had a party and a houseguest stole my meds. This was situation with the police involved, etc.... But she doesn't even KNOW that because she never gave me a chance to tell her. I guess I feel now that I am being punished for ever being honest with my doctors about the vicodin. Even though they all commended me for my honesty at the time. So what now the first time there is a problem they assume I'm lying and when I try to tell them the very factual details she tells "I don't want to hear it". What??? It was tried and convicted without her even hearing what happened??? I had the police officer's name, etc... that I talked to last night for her to talk to etc... but she wouldn't let me even give it to her. I have PROOF that I am not lying. Not video proof or anything but I was fully believed by the police and was even told that this was "not the first time this has happened" at that particular hospital!!!

I don't know. I just keep getting more and more upset about this situation. The fact that she refused to even let me SPEAK is very upsetting. The fact that she YELLED at me to the point that I was in tears ( I am NOT a crier), sobbing even, really makes me angry now. She treated me like I was the dirtiest, lowliest, most disgusting liar on the face of the planet. And she never even heard the details of what had happened. Even if she was prone to believe that I was back to abusing meds she should have at least given me the chance to plead my case. Offer to be drug tested. Anythign she wanted. I did not ONCE ask for her to refill my stolen meds. In fact I said the exact opposite both on my phone message to them and when I saw her today. That I understood that my contract clearly states that I cannot get an early refill on stolen meds. I was prepared for the two weeks of w/d. Sure I was HOPING they would cut me a break considering the circumstances, but honestly, I would rather go thru the w/d than to have to be dealing with all of this emotional abuse now. Especially the constant threat of "we'll see if we keep you on after next week" comment. So she refills for a week and then maybe I'll get dumped next week. It's like she is psychologically punishing me or something. If she is going to drop me from the program she should just drop me right? Not mess with my head like this.

LIke I said before too... I feel I was totally ambushed when I went in there. When I spoke to her assistant this morning and was telling him the details fo what happened etc... he was all for believing me. He even went so fas as to say that "no refills on stolen meds" comment was more for the FDA than anything. That they have to put that on there to try and be in complete compliance with them and that really it went more by a case by case basis and in a situation like mine with a police report and all that he was sure they'd be able to work something out. So I walked in her office assuming that she was gonig to be irritated but at least believing that I wasn't LYING about it. I mean he is her ONLY assistant. They work side by side all day long. If she was that angry he would have had to have known. You'd think he could have at least given me some sort of warning "DR. B is really upset about this, just so you know" or SOMETHING. But instead he led me to believe the exact opposite. So I get in her office and before I can even close the door she is YELLING at me. Which personally I don't feel she ever should have done whether I was lying or not.

Honestly, I wasn't even going to tell them. Yesterday when it happened I figured I was SOL anyway with my contract saying no refills etc... So I figured there was no point in even telliing them that the meds were stolen. But then the hospital said that they would be putting a note in my chart that this happened and that goes back to my regular Doc's office. I didn't want them to see it and think that I was hiding it from them for some reason since she has always been so adament about my being able to "come to her with anything at all". Well that was a crock. I feel like I would have been received better if I had walked in and told her that I was taking double my dose and just couldn't help myself. I know that sounds crazy but I really feel that way. Evne though it wasn't true I just get this feeling they would have liked that reason better. Poor druggie Tina just can't help herself, they give me all this support and sympathy. But when something awful happens and I get my purse robbed (and not just of my meds, I had to change my bank acct number, etc... it's big frigging hastle actually not to metnion my missing cash, not that she knows ANY Of this since she wouldn't let me tell her, as far as she knows it was just my methadone that got stolen because every time I tried to tell her what hapepend she said "I don't want to hear it") I get in TROUBLE for it. It just doesn't make any sense.

I have never had someone make me feel like such a low life in my entire life. I felt like a crumb of dirt when I walked out of her office. No one has ever made me feel like that except for my abusive ex-boyfriend. I never thought that I would be treated like that from anyone again, let alone this doctor that I have thought was SO wonderful and understanding.

And you know, I'm scared right now. I'm scared that I am going to get dropped from her clinic. And this was the ONLY place I can go. And if she drops me even if I DO find a new clinic and somehow come up with teh cash to pay for it, who is going to treat me? Thre are not many PM clinics in my area. It took me 2 years to get in to hers. The past 4 months have been the best 4 months that I have had in the past 7 years. It's the first time in that time that I have been able to lead a somewhat "normal" life. To walk to my dog, to go out with friends, to get up every day and to not have to grimace in pain every time I move. It's been a godsend to me. I've said that many times on this board. I don't know what I will do if she kicks me out of the clinic. I don't know how I can go back to living in all that pain again after having a taste of an at least somewhat pain-free existance. I don't think I could handle going back to a 9-10 pain scale every day. Not after being free of it. I'm terrified right now. And I feel like she has put me in this limbo on purpose. To punish me. Along with lowering my meds. How is having my meds stolen a reason that my pain level has diminished? She felt I needed 50mg last week? But this week after they are stolen my pain is less? Of course not. I feel like I am being punished. That I have to have more pain than usual...AND I have to sit here in fear the next 7 days wondering if when I call next Thursday if they are going to drop me.

I'm afraid to even call her again. Honestly. What if my pain increases? I'll never be able to tell her that again even if she does keep me on. I'll feel every time thta she thinks I am lying. I did a stupid thing leaving my purse in the waiting room. But I am NOT lying. It happened. A video tape SHOWS me leaving it there. Now who pilfered thru it I might never know. But someone did. They stole my money. They stole my credit card. They stole two different medications from me. That was a nightmare all on it's own. And now I feel like it is just never going to end.
Well I called my bank immediately and cancelled my debit/visa card which was stolen and to be safe cancelled out my entire bank account even though no checks were stolen just because what if they wrote down my account number? You can do so many things online now with just your bank's routing number and checking account number nowadays. When I went to the bank yesterday to cash my paycheck/deposit to my new bank account I asked if they had any activity on my cancelled card yet and they said no. Hoenstly I think that the theft of my pitiful amoutn of cash and my credit card was purely to make it look like a more generalized robbery rather than just pure narcotic theft. Along with the theft of my citalopram which is my generic anti-depressant. If I was a health care professional, that is what I would do if was stealing a patient's narcotics to try and make it look like Joe Schmo from the waiting room had done it. I spoke with my friend who is a nurse in Georgia (she was a nurse here in Wisconsin as well) and she said that at all of the hospitals she's worked at least one or more nurse or med assistant and even a few doctors have been suspended or fired over narcotic's theft and abuse. It's scary to think that it can happen that often. I know that doctors and nurses are human just like the rest of us, but as I said in an earlier post... I feel violated by somone who was supposedly there to HELP me.

I also wonder if my doctor was madder at me because I was accusing a nurse or someone instead of just some random person off the street. Which I am not accusing anyone at this point. All I know if that when I got there my meds, my debit card, my cash, etc.... (oh yeah, I'm also missing a purse sized bottle of Rapture perfume from Victoria's Secret that I totally loved!!! maybe I should have walked around the ER smellin everyone) were in my purse. I was an idiot and left it in the waiting room and when the three nurses brought it back to me all fo those things were missing. Security claims that NO ONE touched it while it was in the waiting room. The camera was apparently aimed right at my purse the entire time...which kind of seems strange to me that it never moves in three hours to see what ELSE could be happening in their huge waiting room, but oh well... So it had have happened from the time a nurse picked it up and walked it behind the view of the camera to the nurse's station and then however long it took for them to go through it and get it to my room. All of which was about 3-4 hours. Not 100% sure since I was out of it. My roommate said it was about 3.5 hours. We got the purse back around 12:45 and we had gotten there just before 9 and then waited for awhile.

The whole thing just sucks. I hate people who steal. I really do. It has never crossed my mind to steal ANYTHING. And even when I was having trouble with my vicodin etc...before telling my doctors and going on the methadone. I still never would have STOLEN meds out of someone's purse. Because I would have known what I would be doing to taht person. I wouldn't have been able to live with the guilt of knowing the possible ramifications it could have on that person's life. But unfortunately, obviously, not everyone feels that way... I remember just working at Walgreens how much stuff got stolen. Ugh. Not to mention our pharmacy was robbed at gun point three times within 6 months for oxycontin. It's really sad.
Well I can definitely relate to all of you. I have been on pain killers for about 3 years. And I have never had anyone steal even one pill. I've always been very careful. I seperate the meds and put them in different places. I've never kept a lock box because the only person that comes in my room is my identical twin sister. SHe's never had any pain problems, but she did break her arm and when they gave her vicodin for it, she took one and hated it. She hasn't used anything stronger than tylenol ever since. So I know I can trust her. But I had just filled my meds right before school, and I always counnt to make sure I received the correct amount. (Which was 300 pills) I had them in a small purse, inside another purse, at the bottom of my back pack. And stupidly I did leave my backpack while I went to the bathroom. When I came back there were 100 gone. Now my 3 friends said no one went near my backpack, so I have to assume it's them or they're covering for them. Needless to say, I went out that day and bought a lock box, to keep my pills in at home. And I have this necklace that has a treasure box on it, that opens and holds pills. So thats what I use to put JUST enough pills I need for the day. I just can't figure why they didnt empty the bottle and take all of them, ya know? Anyways, after reading most of these posts it helped me realize you can't trust anyone. And thats my weak point, trusting people too much. Anyways thanks,