I'm feeling very angry. I noticed when I'm in my angry mood it is better for my loved ones to be mad at me. It is like I try to make them hate me and so my husband will finally ask me to leave. He is so supportive of me. He doesn't deserve to have a wife like this. He doesn't need a wife he can't depend on, wondering what will my mood be next, since I'm self employed will I work and make money. I think he deserves better. I have been in my very depressed mood not even leaving the house, now I'm just angry and mean. I have felt no affect by the Xanax XR I am taking for immediate relief. I did go to my therapist today and after I left him I bought two new books; Night Falls Fast by Kay Redfield Jamison & Bipolar Disorder Francis Mondimore. I highly recommend one book I have already read: An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison. Sometimes when I won't leave my bedroom I read. Is anyone ready for the Holidays? Since I have shut out everyone in my family besides my husband, son, mom and dad Holidays are just not fun for me. I'm really worried about the meds my doc put me on, I don't want to have another episode, and I really don't think I'm on the right meds. Sorry to be just a downer. I'm so happy I found this site, It is so easy to talk to people you will never have to meet since I talk to no one else about my BP2.