Discussions that mention xanax

Addiction & Recovery board


Day 3:
I feel much better today than the past few days, I have a bit of hunger now to eat. I'm still drinking lots of water. Seems like that has helped for some reason. Just to stay hydrated, also taking vitamin C and B12.

I did sleep from about 9am until 3pm today when I woke up I still didn't have a headache or cloudy feeling head from the excessive hydrocodone abuse, which makes me feel good.

I still have a few highs and lows, but it seems like the lows are getting much shorter, and the highs are "normal" life feeling, I've even had a laugh or 2.

I've spent most the time I've ben awake with my little girl and her birthday today and that's made me feel better also. I'm still not weel enoung to feel like going anywhere, I have had some stomach problems ( I will spare the details ). I have also been taking my Rx of Xanax one in the morning one at night it feels like that's help with the anxiety of not having my pills.

The trick is just to find stuff to do to keep from thinking about the pills, at least it's worked for me. I do feel like I still don't know what to do with myself... The restlessness of not getting comfortable in my chair is gone. Right now it's just emptiness and hollow feeling. I can deal with that, I think the worst of the withdrawls are behind me, now it's just taking it a day at a time.

At least I sure hope it doesn't flare up again... I know it will take a bit to get over but I'm hanging in there.
Way to go Thrombo!!!!! :D
Day 3 is the hardest, as we all know.
Aren't stomach problems the worst???? You definitely can't go anywhere, i just try to lay still until the immodium takes effect.
How was the b=day party?
This journal IS gonna be helpful to you down the road....hell mabe you can write a book about it.....you write don't ya? I know you are into poems....
what kind of music do ya like..
Well i know you are into tattoos and piercings :D I still think that is wicked cool! I looked online today at some arm-band tatoos...still can't find one that catches my eye.....i think the inner arm will be less painful than the bone in my back, cuz i am thin and bone is what hurts in a tatoo.---well it did anyway when i got my rose on my ankle.
Are you into football....i sorta am, but HATE the Steelers, that is my ex-husbands team and i don't want them to win. If i have to pick a team, i guess i would say i am a Dallas Cowboys fan
Well i hope you can catch some zzzzz's tonight. You can probably count on being up at the crack of dawn...but i always get up early...hate that, but i guess that is just me. I can't stay up past midnight though...LOL
I never took xanax during the day, even during w/d....maybe a quarter of one a time or two....it makes me SLEEPY :yawn: and i'm always afraid i would "pass out" on my 4 yr old. I take one at night before bed.
Well it was good to see a "day3" post from ya....keep it up and soon the days will turn into weeks....you know the mental part is coming next....be prepared, that is what always gets me....the depression, blahs and crying over anything and everything.....stay strong!
luv,
LISA
Day 4 (night):
Well day 4 is about come and gone, at one point this evening I had this nervous urge to get my hands on some pills. I sat in the shower until the feeling passed. For the most part I'm fine, I still have a little bit of a nervous feeling, still feel bored doing or watching anything for any length of time. I'm still doing a lot of small things around the house just to stay occupied. I've smoked my weight in cigarettes I think too, but one bad habit at a time right?

The soreness seems to have gone away, and the watery eyes and runny nose has gone away. I did eat well tonight, but only ate once today, but for the first time since Thursday I was actually hungry and wanted to eat. I had some BBQ wings watching some of the Super Bowl (I knew Steelers were gonna win, without even watching a game... it was like ESP, darn.. should have bet on it haha).

I'm doing good tho, much better than I was a couple days ago... I think if I still felt today what I felt like then I would have already crumbled. It DOES get better you just have to maintain. At least that's what I keep telling myself... Stay on track, you can beat it, you're better than the pills, do this for yourself, you've never been addicted to anything (other than cigarettes).

So to recap what I've been doing and it's helped: Decide that you want off the pills, reconize you have a problem, educate yourself on what to expect when you quit, set a date, ween down to that date and stop. Stay positive, tell yourself every morning you're doing good, remind yourself often during the day that it will only get better. Stay busy, even if it's alot of small things, shower more than 2-3 times if you need to, brush your teeth a few more times during the day anything to get your mind off it for 2 minutes. If you can stop thinking about it for 2 minutes it will pass.

Also what I've been taking and I'm not recommending it without consulting your own doctor: Rx Xanax 2 .5mgs (1 during the day one at night), 2 Arthritis Pain Tylenol (to help with the soreness), 1 B12 vitamin, 1 Vitamin C 500mg tablet, and something to reward myself is a can of Redbull here and there for a little energy pep.

Try to think of something you like, a good soda, something you like to eat, something you like to do and make that your reward, if you make it thru the day sit back and enjoy your reward. It helps produce those good feeling endorphines again without the narcotic doing it for you. I actually get a fuzzy when I think about my reward and it makes me happy. Believe it or not I've been able to get a good laugh in while going thru this, sometimes it feels like it's about to turn into a cry but I haven't been there yet. My little 2 year old last night had on a pair of dryer warm boxers last night pulled up to her chest and was dancing in them until they would hit the floor, pick them up and do it again... I laughed so hard I almost cried, it was cute!

Tomorrow is another good day!
Day 5 (afternoon):

Well so far so good, after breakfast I went to sleep some more, slept until about noonish. I'm so thankful I'm between jobs at the moment, I don't think I coul dhave went thru all this and go to work. I feel even better than yesterday! I actually didn't wake up thinking about pills this time. I woke up and was thinking what I was gonna do for the day. Plus it helped that my 2 year old little girl got up on the bed slapping my stomach saying "up daddy", so I had her cuteness to wake up to. Still no pill headache, mind feels crisp, and my body is starting to act as fast as I'm thinking, I'm still slightly bored here and there, but I managed to watch Final Fantasy 7 Advent Children all the way thru with subtitles and not get bored.

I visited one of my old haunts on the internet early this morning, and ran into someone I've known online for 12 years or more. He told me he's trying to quit Xanax, and having withdrawls... So now I have that to look forward to? I'm on Xanax also, have been for as long as I've been on Lortabs... So I'm a little worried now, I quit one thing I thought was a much needed quit. Now I'm gonna have to go thru the same thing with Xanax? or are the withdrawls different? I guess I need to start educating myself on those. I've skipped a couple days before and it never seemed to have any effect on me, but I'm worried about long term.

I am getting my appetitte back, which is good... just 2 more days and it will be 1 week since I quit. My old friend said "You've been off them for 5 days now? You have it beat", but I'm not gonna let myself believe that. I think this is something that I will remember for a long time.
5 days is awesome! You do have the physical part beat I think....it will just be the mental crap taht tries to trick you back into using. But as long as you are aware and understand that each craving will pass you will be able to do it. As for the xanax. I have heard the w/d sucks. How much are you taking a day? Most likely you will just have to wean off of those eventually. Don't worry about it now! You have enough on your plate. You can figure a taper plan out for the xanax when the time comes. Focus on what you have already accomplished and what you are doing right now because you are doing great! :)
No currently not on any antidepressants. I'm only taking a small amount of Xanax to help with anxiety and help me sleep .5mgs 2x a day. Other then that, nothing, I take a vitamin B12 and C. I've been doing okay I think, I get a little down here and there during the day but it passes and I know it will only get better.
Just checking in,

I'm now 16 days clean from Lortab, I actually went through the day and didn't think about it. Toward the end of the day I did think about the pills, but it was when I cornered my fiance up in the kitchen had her look at me, and heartfuly told her "thank you for your support and caring about my health enough to endure my recovery".

She said to me "know one not in your situation realizes how hard or rough it is to quit, but watching you quit makes me that much more in love with you. You are my hero, you have a strong will to "fix" you life. I'm proud of you, and I'm glad you're off them, your attitude has changed so much and I'm back in love with the person I met 5 years ago."

That meant so much to me, I told her about some of the stories I've read here, and my heart feels for those who doesn't have inhouse support from their family; or if they don't want to "deal" with the 3-5 days it takes for you to recover. Some, might not have it or have had it as lucky as I did recovering and quiting.

I just hope, those who want to quit will say "I've had enough and I will get through this!". Posting a diary here has helped getting positive feedback helped. Knowing I could come here and type what was on my mind, or what I was going through without any harsh critisim helped so much. It was encouraging...

Thursday, now a few days ago would have been my appointment to go get more pills and I didn't go, and I actually didn't think about it until the next day. My fiance said "you wouldn't have had the money to go anyway". I told her "I did stashed away, and would have gotten down there if I wanted to". I just do not desire to now, I promised myself I would never get back into that trap and it's a promise to myself I plan to keep.

My next "detox" will be Xanax next, I've taken 2 a night, sometimes one in the morning one at night, but usually 2 at night 1-2 hours before I go to bed, and have been for 2 years as well, never abused them taking more or with alcohol (I don't drink often, currently been a year or more since I drank alcohol). I plan on quiting those by Monday. I'm doing the same thing, I'm setting a STOP date, no weening, and just stop!

I'm into whatever works, for me it's just to stop... I definately don't want to go through 12 step programs telling me I'm worthless and must give myself over to a higher power. I'm in charge of my life, and it's my will that I stop, just like it was my choice to take those pills everyday!

take care all, and I have a big place in my heart for all those who replied and gave me cheers for my beginning milestones. <3 you all!
Hey Thrombo.....you are doing awesome. And i firmly believe in your way of thinking...higher power/meetings. We are just a different breed i guess LOL
I, however, did NOT have my family's support, in fact, my husband uses that as a dig whenever he can. He is not proud of me in any way, he says i am weak, that is why i let pills take over my life. I guess everyone is entitled to their own opinion. Although in the past month or so, he has been asking me what is wrong, or if there is something up with me when i am acting "off-key"...
and that is progress in itself, he was usually so wrapped up in himself and work he wouldn't even notice if i was three sheets to the wind. He only seemed to notice the "come-downs", when i was sick and crying.
As for the xanax, BE CAREFUL....you are taking very minimal amounts, but i'm not so sure this is going to be as easy as you think, but then you shocked me when you detoxed off of opiates. You are a fighter, that is for sure! :)
I WOULD taper off of those. Benzo w/d is no joke. You CAN die from that, but i highly doubt from 2 a day. I still take xanax at night. I get extreme night anxiety and have a hard time letting the day go, and relax enough to catch some sleep. I can't ever take them during the day, they put me to sleep and i wouldn't be able to watch my kids or run errands. My oldest, will be going for her license on Tuesday.....how surreal. I am feeling old. I was a young mother, so i guess this is just a stepping-stone. She is my only source of support, sad as it sounds, my daughter is my whole world, she is my best friend, i haven't hid any of this from her, in hopes that if someone offers her a "pill" at a party, she will know what the outcome will be.
Well, with the xanax i would drop down at night and eliminate the day-time dosage....read up on it, i doubt 2 a day is gonna be that hard to kick, although i think it WILL effect your sleep/moods a bit for a couple of weeks. Maybe not though....get some tylenol p.m.....just in case. I will be anxious to see how it goes.
Well just wanted to congratulate you and let you know you are an inspiration to me. You set your mind to something and DO IT....i like that :D
I hope you have a fantastic weekend.
luv,
LISA
Almost 3 weeks and no Hydros, Late Wednesday night/Thursday morning will be my 3 week mark.

I'm now putting down Xanax/Benzo's.

I didn't take any last night, and so far tonight I haven't taken any, so I'm just now hitting my "24 hour mark".

So far, haven't thought about them at all, I never really did... I'm waiting to see how I feel in another day or so. I want to see if my sleep gets lighter, or if I can't go to sleep at all etc. I just don't know how I will react to stopping it since I never really tried.

I've seen a few posts saying Benzo detox is worse than Hydro detox, I sort of find it hard to believe, but we will see this week.

in case you haven't followed the thread, what I was taking:

2x Xanax .5mg every night 1-2 hours before bed for 2 years.

No tapering, going cold turkey, just like the Hydros.
Update Kicking Benzo's (Xanax):

Man... going into day 3... and I crumbled, I'm not the iron man after all heh... I started getting like super nervous for no reason most all day, like shaking sort of nervous uncontrollably. It got so bad this evening I started vomiting, I took 2 Xanax my normal dose 30 minutes later I was fine... all I can say is wow... I will have to taper for SURE! There's no way to quit taking 2-3mg of Xanax a day for 2 years and just quit?! I felt like my body was shutting down, I could think straight but my body just wasn't responding to what I was thinking, never had that happen before. I found a 'script I haven't had filled for another 120 pills, plus I found a 1/4 of an Rx in a drawer... I guess I'm gonna start tapering off them, seems the only logical thing to do, just go slow and pace myself. I took 2 this evening, I'll probably still take 2 tomorrow, once I get "better" with my nerves I will drop to 1 1/2 a day for a week, 1 for a week etc.

I don't know if it was the combination of quiting smoking and the Xanax at the same time or not, quiting smoking will shoot your nerves, and then coming off the Xanax on top of that, heh... well I'm still not smoking, I had a couple 'scripts for nicotine patches so I'm using those to help ease off cigarettes.

*mental note* one at a time, get control, and go to the next bad habit... there's no sense in stopping everything at once, it just takes time!
Thrombo, bless your heart, I know it is rough. Stopping Benzos is the hardest thing you will likely ever do in your life....worst of all drugs to kick and easiest to become addicted to. You are right about the taper. Based on all I have seen and read it is almost impossible to CT w/Benzos and the WDs are terrorizing. Your emotions rage out of control, your fears terrorize the hell out of you, and your reasoning/thinking ability just doesn't function right during Benzo detox....worst of all there is a risk of grand mall seizures, rare but real.

Here is what I learned during my Xanax detox, success with home detox is substantially increased if you do a bridge taper with switching from Xanax, a short acting benzo, to Valium, a longer acting benzo.....it smoothes out the taper and makes the peaks and valleys more tolerable. The shorter half-life of Xanax results in a feeling of being dropped off a cliff. The feeling is so intense, fearful, and awful that almost all abort detox from fear. Bridging the taper is the only way I could succeed, and even then it was the most horrible experience I have ever gone through. Benzo detox is so horrible that I am amazed the drug has been left on the market. I would never ever allow another doctor to prescribe it for me no matter what. I think most doctors just must not know how really bad it is. I learned about the bridging taper through Professor Heather Ashton's extensive published work online regarding benzo addiction and detox. Professor Ashton is affiliated with School of Neurosciences, Division of Psychiatry, The Royal Victoria Infirmary in England.
All i can say is....WOW....now I'M SCARED!!!!
Gosh i think i have been on xanax since my 4 yr old was 6 months old. The doctor prescribes me anywhere from 4-6 .5mg a day :eek: boy, he must think i am whackey or something. Of course i never take that much--i would be totally out of it all day. Pain pills, well thats a different story.
Thrombo, you continue to inspire me and help me in ways you'll never know. I somehow seem to feed off of your strength. And you are by far, the strongest willed person i have ever come across. I so wish i had it in me to be like you, but i am a much, much weaker breed.
I really think it was the xanax w/d that made you puke, i remember about 3 or 4 years back i witnessed my mother detoxing off of benzos....well i didn't witness it but she called me and called me knowing how "I" had kicked coke and booze, and she thought i could help HER.,....WRONG....i could not believe the crying, and how "out of control" she sounded, she sounded dam right suicidal. My dad decided that he couldn't watch her go thru it, so she is still on whatever to this day. HA---history seems to be repeating itself....except my love is pain killers not tranquilizers. Ugggghhhh, just can't bear the thought of being like her.....
I wish my hubby would give me a quarter of the support i need. He just doesn't care, and in fact, has told me to put the family out of their misery and just leave! There are countless times he has even said how he wishes i would just die from pills and get it over with. He hates me....ditto to him....
ANYWAY----you are top-notch in my book, and i commend you for your efforts on the xanax w/d.......just do a taper, slow and steady will win the race. Lots of people talk of the Ashton manuel, maybe that is something you would be interested in looking at.
Well keep up the efforts on not smoking, i am like a chimney, so tell me how does the patch work? Keep us updated, i have been following your story and that is the first thing i go for, after my coffee in the a.m....your journal.
Again, your strength and charisma amaze me, how is your fiance handling all of this....if i remember right she is very supportive--right? Lucky you....
Lean on her, when you need to, that is what a relationship is all about. Let your body get better before attempting THAT again....your body is still healing from loratab w/d.....
I hope you have a good day today.
AWESOME---about the motivational speaking, people will absorb your strength and wisdom.
Have a good day, Thrombo....
lots of luv,
LISA
Wow lisa,

I don't know what to say, the first thing to say is "thank you so much!" Your kind words have honestly kept me on track. Maybe I believed to much in my willpower that I thought I could stop Xanax, not really taking into account the very real changes it has on my body and mind.

I think my body is adjusted back on them again I slept like a baby last night. I didn't wake up until it was time to get ready for my lawyers appointment. I've got a lot going on now-a-days since I've gotten off the Lortabs and really getting my *cough* "stuff" together (didn't want to cuss haha).

I failed to mention 1 week ago I stopped my caffine intake, I stopped the Redbulls, coffee, colas etc... I've been drinking water and fruit juices instead. I'm slowly working on being completely clean from chemical dependancy, in most all forms... Coming off the Lortabs was like a wake up call for me.

I'm also working on putting together a non-profit orginization, that's why I'm seeing my lawyer this morning. I'm putting together a group that will be attending some health classes in school and talk to teens about the dangers of chemical dependancy, not to preach to them but just let them know the things that could happen, I don't believe in propoganda, I believe in the right for people to learn for themselves... but if I can just reach 1 kid in a school and educate them in the dangers of abuse then I would be pleased. Who better than someone who has traveled that road for 20 years (since age 13). Plus I think I can relate to kids in school, they will see a cool, tattoo'd up pierced up guy in the front of the class educating them on it.

So on top of getting my new small business going selling caskets, I'm working on doing these lectures on the side for schools in the southeast. Who knows, it might pick up enough steam that I can travel around the US talking to teens about it with others I will bring on board. Become a modivational speaker for the cause. I have had education in public speaking, now it's just to combine all the medical training I've had, public speaking, promotion research and my experience helping several businesses start up and become successful. I'm finally in a situation where I can get business loans and my credit is finally at a good rating to do it.

Lisa, you guys just do not really know how much you guys mean to me, and the chance to be here and relate with you what I'm going through and doing after getting clean.

Much much love to you all!
Awesome Job On Kicking The Hydros 6 Wks Off I Awesome... I Just Quit Taking Them A Wk Ago... I Went Through A 150 In 4 Days... I Have Been On Them For Two Years... And Got 150 Every Month For 2 Years... It Didnt Take Long Before I Was Hooked... I Was Had A Gun To My Head And I Moved It A Second Before He Pulled The Trigger And I Got Shot In Teh Thigh By A 12 Gauge... I Guess The Reasoning For Me To Take Them Was To 1. Stop The Pain & 2. Make Me Numb To The World And To Help Me Forget It All... But I Realized The Is The Easy Way Out... And There Has Been Nothing Easy About The Past Two Years And I Know I Have Been Through Worse So Last Monday I Decided To Quit... I Went From 50 A Day To Only 1/2 At Night...i Will Never Be Off Them But I Figured I Could Reduce It... I Have Bad Bone Pain From Being Up All Night... So If I Dont Do Something To Take Care Of Some Of The Pain I Stay Up For About 4 Days... But I Have Started To Take 1/2 Of A .5 Xanax At Night To Curb My Anxiety From The Pain I Am Having And It Makes Me Not Want The Pills... Keep Up The Good Work Man... And Those Two Little Girls Are Worth It All... Im Only 19 But I Would Do Anything For My Kids If I Had Any... Congrats And Keep On Keepin On!!!! Ryan
Just an update,

I'm still off the Hydro's and doing fine, I'm still taking the Xanax (benzo's) and I'm fine with that so far.

I've enrolled for the summer at college now, going in for prep classes and getting ready for the fall semester; I'll be majoring in psychology.

I also start back to work part-time at a bank as a phone consultant (which basically means telling people howmuch they have/don't have in their bank account and where it's being spent).

Hope everyone is doing well! Take care!
Hey lisa! And everyone else...

Just writing to say, I'm still off lortabs been since the end of Jan. up till now. I also finally got off the Xanax... go me! I had to ween myself off them, took a couple weeks. I still spent about 1-2 weeks with restless nights, sleeping 3 hours stay'n up for 5-6 hours, sleeping 3-4 hours, rinse repeat. I thought the first week I would lose my mind, I never felt rested I was ill (angry) all the whole time. I've been off them since April something I forget the date. My fiance still endured it with me, she hasn't said she was proud of me or anything *shrug* but she's still with me.

I've had so many chances to get lortabs again, had them practically placed in my hand and I turned them down. I have flash backs off the withdrawals and lose interest very quick. Sometimes I make comments like "If I go back to see my doctor I will get them again" I think I might just because I can, and sometimes I think they will make things all "better" socially and mentally. I know it's just the beast trying to tempt me back again, I shrug it off and go play with my 2 little girls. They are both doing well, and I spend alot of time babysitting them while my fiance works.

Take care all and I hope all of you are doing well! Much love for all the support here and for all of you!