Discussions that mention xanax

Addiction & Recovery board

Hello Rebel

Just thought I would share some of what happened to me because I really can relate to what you are feeling. While I have never used subutex or suboxone, I was on opiates for a long time and suffered eventually what you are describing now. Sub does have an opiate in it.... bupuprehen(???).... and perhaps that is contributing to the depression.

I was last on Oxycodone and had begun abusing it to try and solve a lot more problems than pain..and was also using Xanax for non-prescibed reasons. I was hiding out from emotional pain and the abuse of the opiate and the benzo was about the worse choice I could have made. They are depressants and what started as a slow ride became a fast spiraling free fall into major depression. No social contact, no laughter, no rhythm, no pleasure, no anything.. nada, zilch, caput. I ended up non -functioning and finally, finally, began the long overdue journey off the narcotics. I did long, slow tapers off first Oxycodone and then Xanax.

In the first months of the tapers, I felt a second layer of depression fall over me from the withdrawal. It was pretty horrible to deal with it, but I knew it was the way out for me from all the depression. All that depression was surely going to kill me so I made a decision to try and fight back and live.

In about 10-12 weeks of tapering, I could feel that second layer of depression starting to lift. Was I feeling great? Nope, not by a long shot, but I was feeling better than 12 weeks previous. I kept journaling during thaty time so I was forced to see in black and white that I was, indeed, starting to have short periods of relief. All that time, and for some years before, I had been on an anti-depressant. Actually Lexapro, one of the brand names for escitalopram. As the tapering continued, I could feel the Lexapro starting to work again. I had crowded it out with all the other drugs and as my doses of narcotics got smaller, the Lexapro was able to be felt again. The depression, both layers, began to lift more steadily in baby steps after that 12 week period.

Rebel, I know 12 weeks can sound so forbidding when we are suffering. I can only tell you that the time does pass and it does get better and better as we get closer to the finish line.

In coming off the Sub, my thought would be to continue very, very slowly, trying to make the cuts only about 10% at a time. The closer we get to the end, the smaller and smaller the cuts need to be.

Feeling better, much better, is so possible for you. I have absolutely no doubt about this at all. It takes a real leap of faith to believe this, but it is true. Others before me held my hand as I made the leap to trust in their experiences. I held on tightly and today I am a happy, functioning woamn again. I enjoy life, I laugh, and I participate once again.

Hold tight, Friend. There is great sunshine waiting for you.
With hope always