Discussions that mention xanax

Addiction & Recovery board

Hello Lisa

To tackle addiction is to tackle a lot of fear. Fear of the secret being out, fear of the withdrawal, fear of life without the pills. Oh, I know these fears well because I was addicted to opiates and to Xanax. Those fears grow and grow until they become like an out of contol cancer in our very souls.Like you, my use spiraled and with it, my entire life spiraled downward as well.

How do we get out of the horrible circles we are running in? We face the fear and do what we have to. And that first fear is spilling the story to our doctor. Lisa, I can not tell you the huge relief that comes once we find the courage to do this. Oh, of course I cried and sobbed and felt humiliated and embarrassed.... and you know what? It was all self-imposed! The only thing my doctor wanted to do was help me... and he did! I left his office that day with more hope than I knew could be possible. I left feeling 50 lbs lighter with so much of the fear gone. I left with HOPE.

I am clean for over a year now. My life is calm, it is happy, it is no longer filled with demons of fear. I don't miss the pills and I sure don't miss the life I was living in them. It took a year of tapering, first from Ocycodone and then from Xanax. Yes, it was difficult, really hard, at times. However, as I moved along, it became more and more possible. I totally hated the withdrawal at times, but I knew it was my only chance to live, truly live, again and I wanted it more than anything. I wanted my life back, and I have it again.

Lisa, print out your thread and hand it to the doctor if you don't feel you can get the words out. Our doctors can only help us best when all the information is truly disclosed. Please, please, take a leap of faith here and belive that those who have gone before you understand what is happening in your head and know what has to be done. Put the brakes on the downward spiral and begin today to find the restored life that is waiting for you.

With all hope and care
Hello to ALL that have shown their Care and Support for me.
I have not posted for quite awhile due to my, out of control, active addiction. I am worse and sick than ever.
I am, definitly, not in a sane state of mind as of this posting.
How attractive am I?
I have been up since Thursday (other than passing out in the computer chair for how long? I don't even know.
Since Thursday I have experienced all of the following.
I have woke up in the computer chair with stem in hand and stuff all over the table and floor and continued on.
I have woke up in the bed with everything laying right beside me and continued on.
My baby, Min Pin, even woke me up when I dosed off in the chair...and once again...I continue on. What???
I don't know what day or time it is unless I look at the corner of my computer.
I have started to halucinate...I know this is from lack of sleep...been here before.
I have not answered my phone in 4 days.
Now let's throw in the rest of my sick addictions...percocets...wine...xanax and anything else I can do.
I sit here thinking about how much I should seek help and in the same thought calling for delivery.
I, also, wonder why am I doing this.

Pray for me
Love you guys,
hi. I have 152 days clean from nearly 22 years which is half my life addicted to opiates and benzo's. While my bottom was not anything like I had heard about from others , I just woke up one day tired of feeling sick and tired. What started out ad treatment for anxiety and migraines, turned into a dollar coaster of vicodan, percodan, ultram,fioricet,Xanax,klonopin,Ativan,codeine cough medicine, and mixtures of the above. I went into rehab in march, originally to detox from the benzo'd as I detoxed myself off the opiates. Then I decided I needed the 28 days. It changed my life, and while it is much harder than I thought, it is worth it. I am on vacation in Paris at the moment, and woke up with a migraine yesterday. The chemist wanted so badly to push codeine on me, I finally got her to give me aspirin with caffeine, and it worked. I then goigled non opiate pain medecine, and wound up here. There are so few alternatives to opiates! Toradol is terrible for you I am told. It works, but can lead to renal failureand can sometimes mimic opiates in causing the trigger. What seems to work for me has been advil, Tylenol 2 and 2 for a severe pain, or zomig if I catch the migraine in time. I recently started taking topomax which is supposed to prevent migraines, so well see........ I go to meetings not daily but at least 2 x a week. I have 2 friends from rehab whom I speak with everyday, and we keep each other sober.