Discussions that mention zoloft

Depression board


I have suffered from panic attacks and severe depression for over 15 years.

Early on, there was some use of Sinequan and drugs like that which were used along with Xanax and Clonopin. Because my life was under so much flux, I can't really say that any of the meds worked, although the Xanax certainly helped calm me down and saved me from being overly phobic all the time.

But things would get better and then worse over and over, so I can't say when it was me or when it was the drugs. Eventually, I took nothing for the depression and went on for maybe 7 years surviving with the Xanax only. Several SSRIs and other meds were tried, but I am OVERLY sensitive to meds and never made it more than a day or two on Zoloft, Prozac, Paxil and all the others which I've tried and I've tried them all.

The last 4 years have been horrible. Torture, really. I finally had a Dr. tell me to try Lexapro and that he had heard that the side effects would be minimal. I had to try. I felt like it was try this med or just give up....

I went on the med VERY slowly. 2.5 for a week, 5mg for a week, then 7.5 for a week, 10 for a week, 15 for a week, and FINALLY to 20mg which I'm on now. The first day I felt SO sick. My Dr. gave me something for the dizziness and the nausea and I must say, for the most part, it has helped and I was able to go on with the med.

I was really excited, honestly, that I had actually made it for many weeks on a med. It seemed like a victory, you know? Early on, I noticed that I could fall asleep again at night with relative ease. This was a huge thing, because for well over 2 years I had been tossing and turning at night, I was afraid to go to bed at night because of it, as I would finally pass out sometimes around 5, 6 am. This was terrible. There is NO doubt the med was helping me with this, there was no way it could be anything else. I would feel that zombie feeling others have posted about and still do, but not every day, only sometimes. Sexual Dysfunction is also very obvious, but not a major concern IF I was getting better. Still, it's a bit freaky to feel like sex isn't a big deal almost overnight, when I was a pretty sexual person and, hell, I'm a guy. It's what I do.

Like most of you, I did my homework on this med on the internet and learned more than I probably should have. I read about the weight gain and I had a little, freaked out, then noticed it stopped and didn't start again and hasn't for weeks, so that was something that didn't stop me. But for MANY of you that this med and other meds have been helped by, I've seen a lot of you write about suddenly feeling happy again...almost magically. I so wanted that to happen and waited for it. I am sure it raised my expectations, but, clearly, I have to say it just hasn't happened. I have been on 20 mg for about 2 week, I suppose I'll give it another month or two, but I'm guessing nothing good will happen. That kind of makes me sad on top of the general sadness that I live with every day.

The worst of the side effects is the difficulty in getting up in the morning. It's really, really difficult and doesn't seem to get any easier. The nausea isn't so bad, but from time to time I still need something to help with it. The dizziness is rare now and the zombie feeling happens too, but who knows when it will come back again or if it's gone for good, I don't know for certain? The sexual side effects is there too. The good for all of this, is being able to sleep at night. So, that's pretty much where I stand. I don't feel anything else has really changed and I think I'm running out of time for it to be optimistic.

In my heart, I think I always feel ashamed that I allowed myself to suffer from depression when there were all of these *new* drugs and SSRIs that other people were using and that I wasn't able to because of being so weak in dealing with the side effects. Maybe it was my crutch. If I finally took an SSRI and it worked, than I'd have to finally get back to living life OR face the fact that I'd lost many years of my life suffering, when I could have been getting along well on an antidepressant. But now I've finally done it and I really read the posts about so many people who wrote about feeling better and I expected to feel that way too. It just hasn't happened for me. :(