Discussions that mention zoloft

Depression board


Wow. Your experience sounds just like mine, without the depression. I, too, had a rough childhood, growing up with a father who most likely had Narcissitic Personality Disorder, and was certainly cold and neglectful. I do believe that some people are just born with a predisposition to anxiety (and depression), and there's such a thing as "free-floating anxiety", also called a "high baseline anxiety", meaning that, no matter what, you feel extremely anxious all the time. I have this, and believe me, I know your pain. I don't have depression, but I do believe I have cyclothymia, a mild form of bipolar disorder; I'm even on the mood stabilizer Lamictal for both my moodiness (which I've also had since age 3, in addition to the anxiety, obsessive-compulsiveness, and panic attacks) and to help with my "racing thoughts" that are usually related to obsessions. Like today, for example, I'm having a panic attack right now as we write this, and I've felt down all day, but this is normal for me on a Sunday afternoon/early evening. I always just feel awful, and sit around and dwell on all of the things I should be doing (but can't because I can't physically move while paralyzed with panic) and worrying about the school week to come...I agree, that if you're having these symptoms all day, every day, that you definitely have some form of depression and anxiety disorder, and I'd recommend going to see a doctor and tell him/her about your experiences. Don't be like me- I'm only 18, and I didn't seek help until age 15, because my mother and I didn't think it was anything besides me just being a "worry-wart". I started Zoloft then, but it didn't do that much, and I wasn't officially diagnosed with OCD, GAD, and situational panic attacks until last fall, right after my 17th birthday. I've lived my whole life with fear, and it's still around- unfortunately, the longer you have had it, and the more time you don't start treatment, the harder it is to overcome, but the point is that you CAN get better! I know that, even though I still struggle every day, that I'm sooo much better off than I was even last year, and I certainly am a hell of a lot better than my lowest point, when I was having horrible obsessions eight hours a day at age 12, and had to confess them to my mother, who thought they were as bizarre and strange as I did...We didn't know what was wrong, but thank God we do now. My mom finally understands my OCD, and though she has always been very supportive of me, and has gone through her own personal hell with my father and depression caused by him, she never really thought that I had it, when I suspected it at age 15. The doctor who gave me the Zoloft thought that I had "Generalized Anxiety Disorder", which I do indeed have, but it's so intertwined with my OCD, that it's barely recognizable. So, I think my mom thought that I was going through a period of "medical student's syndrome", thinking I had everything I read about, and even WANTING to have something wrong with me, to give it a name. Well, the last part was right- I did want to give it a name, because I felt so odd and shameful from the obsessions, that I wanted to know that I wasn't the only one who had this, and it turns out that I'm not. Good luck, God bless, and if you have any more questions, or simply just want to vent, I'm here! :angel:
-GatsbyLuvr1920-
[QUOTE]do u think some people are also just born that way, they feel depressed, anxious, nervous and not good about themself from the beginning? Why am I constantly so anxious about everything?.
I felt like that too. Always on edge, nervous. Never feeling 'at home' anywhere. Always having this horrible self-consciousness that never lets me just 'be' around people. Is it 'natural' to feel like this? Thats a really good question. Where does personality end and illness start? Its a pretty blurry line.

Although I've never been officially diagnosed I fit the dysthemia symptoms of depression really well. In some ways its been a curse that I've always been pretty functional so I never really hit a brick wall that stopped me in my tracks to make me think "is this an illness I've got". I've always managed to push on no matter how bad I've felt. I always thought it was just the way I was - over-sensitive, anxious, highly-strung, messed-up. I've struggled to have girlfriends for any length of time because I don't feel comfortable around them and I start to close up and become weird.

The depression is sometimes really bad but never to the point where I can't get out of bed. ITs just this constant low-level, low self-esteem, chronic condition. The anxiety, often a vague sense of physical fear, seems to dog me especially in a social settings so that I can't really relax, I'm hyper-alert. I had a bit of drinking problem for a while and started getting the worst anxiety attacks. Went on zoloft for about 2 months which calmed me down but I felt REALLY, REALLY bored after a while and quit them.

I think the basis of being normal and relating to people is being able to relax, to just be instead of being so up-in-the-head like I've been most of my life. So why are we so up-in-the-head? It is undoubtly a variety of reasons interacting. Probaly has something to do with genetics. My brother and sister are ok so it can't be purely how I was raised. Unless there was something traumatic occur but I can't remember anything. But who knows what might have happened when you were a little helpless defenseless baby and somthing felt so threatening that you kind of left your body and retreated to the 'safety' of your mind vowing never to return.

I did something called PSH therapy (Private Subconscious-mind Healing) a
couple of months ago. The idea is that the part of you that needs to heal, needs to be done where it feels safe and not threatened. Thats the problem with some therapies - they are too confrontational and you just clamp down harder. Its works with your sub-conscious, a bit like hypnosis, and is done over 3 sessions of about an hour each. PSH (if it works) starts a kind of chain reaction that over time lets you dissolve your problems without you having to know about, or confront them, consciously.

Its only been a couple of months since I did it and it takes a while to begin to work through your system so the jury is still out. But I have begun to feel more down to earth, more of this world instead of up in my head. I'm hoping (praying) that as the months pass by I'll feel more and more like this, more real, less up in the air. I've already begun to feel more in my body, more natural. Its a nice feeling.

I look back now at the train-wreck that is my life and wonder what might have been if I was normal from the get-go. Thats kind of depressing in and of itself. But the horrible fact of life is you can't go back in time and redo it all. So I've got to kind of start again afresh which is hard. I'm 32 and no longer a spring chicken (but not an old chicken either I guess). Doesn't seem fair that some people get given such faulty vessels to try and navigate through this life with. Doesn't God do any quality-checking before sending humans out into the world? Sheesh :confused:

Sorry for waffling on just that this thread struck a chord with me.

Cheers,
Phil