Discussions that mention zoloft

Addiction & Recovery board

Hello everyone, :wave:

I've missed the boards, but spent some time at home this weekend cleaning, and I'm not online there yet. Had to buy a bed and get some storage space, so no $$$ to get the cable co. to install broadband. Plus, I owe them $$$, too.

I wanted to give you an update on my situation. Last I posted I said how my fiance had relapsed and gotten arrested. Well, boy was I quick to assume I knew what happened. Apparently, he was taken into custody for possessesion of a controlled substance, his ZOLOFT. The search of the car revealed other paraphernalia. He got 3 charges, but he has a prescription for Zoloft, just didn't have it on him. He swore the other stuff had to have been in the car for months, and that he didn't relapse. The judge ordered him to take a drug test upon release, but the place was closed by that time. Can you believe a state run drug treatment facitlity isn't open on Saturday or Sunday? I would think that would be the optimal time to be open. SO-- I drug tested him when he got to the house to pick up his car. He tested CLEAN, I think. Let me explain that -- the little tabs you dip into the urine are like a pregnancy test. There are supposed to be two lines for negative and one for positive. The lines for negative were visible in the section for cocaine and benzos, but they were fainter than the negative lines for THC and what ever the other two were. Any input on that??

He said that there was nothing in the car except the pipe they found, so they must've charged him with possession of the residue. He said there were no rocks in the car. Want to laugh? When he got to the jail, the nurse asked if he was on any medication, he said Zoloft, and she said they could get that for him there. :rolleyes: Unbelievable. He was tired and cranky and whined about how he was tired of being alone. I told him to go to sleep, that we'd talk about it later.

I left him there to sleep and went to a mtg. When I got back, I told him, in a nutshell but nicer than this will sound, that I wasn't ready, didn't know what I wanted, and he could either live knowing that I might decide I don't want to be with him, or he should call it quits now. That decision was his. So we are talking, and I told him to get his own place if he didn't like sleeping on his friend's couch, and live on his own, because I needed to know that he didn't need me to survive financially. I had been carrying the weight for both of us for too long. He left, went to two mtgs last night and one today with me. He seems to be doing well.

I still have doubts, reservations, and concerns. It's like every thing he does, I am waiting to catch him in a lie. There is so much distrust, and I hate it. I feel like I am not being fair to him. Is that the little voice we hear that is God telling me to keep my guard up? Or is it my inability to let go of the pain and grief of the relationship? Or is it my disease looking for an excuse (not that it would be one, but I certainly would be tempted) to use?

I am doing well in recovery, did my third step today, and about to read about the fourth step in my 12 and 12. I am a little nervous about what I will discover about myself. But that's what all this is about, right? Finding out why we do what we do. I suppose it's necessary, but I don't have to like it.

Please let me know what's going on with you guys!!!! :angel:
Hey Mischief, I've been a little out of the loop, I haven't been online much recently either. I don't know what to tell you, perhaps somebody else has some insight into relationships between addicts. I'm glad he was clean though. Zoloft?! Since when is that a controlled substance? I don't think it's in any of the classes of controlled substances, maybe the one that contains sudafed. :D

Anyway, I wish I had something useful to say. But I'm thinking about you. Hang in there. I think before you know it you'll know what to do about the man in your life. It's hard to deal with all that in these early stages. If I had to advise you, I'd say focus on you, you can't be babysitting at the same time.
You're right, that's why I told him we cannot be together for a while. I've been trying to keep a distance from him, keeping the conversations to a few minutes a day-- Hi How are you? Everything ok? Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I told him when all this was going on and we were disagreeing, that he still argues like an A******. You can take the drink or the drug away, and a person can remain a jerk, but we've never really known each other completely sober and clean. I mean we both have partied on and off for the past 12 years we've known each other. He keeps complaining that he doesn't know what I want from him. I told him I don't know either and I'm not even thinking about what I want right now other than space from the relationship so I can find out who I am.

And I think Zoloft is a "controlled substance" because you need a prescription for it. It's not a narcotic, but there are many controlled substances that are not narcotic. Even ambien, although in the benzo family, is not considered narcotic because that component of it is so small, but it is controlled. There are different schedules of drugs that put them into different classes, but I think as long as you need a prescription for something, it is considered controlled for purposes of the criminal statutes here. I have to look for the generic name, and then do a search of the schedules for it.

I know it's not my job, because I'm not gonna represent him, but I need to know for me.
It's sertraline. I realize it's script only, but according to RXlist: "Controlled Substance Class ZOLOFT (sertraline hydrochloride) is not a controlled substance." Of course one of the reasons I'm here is from abusing ambien to get high, so anyone who says you can't get high off that has a) never taken it with zoloft (hmmm, starting to see a connection here) and b) has never taken 5 and then not gone to bed. And then has no memory of what was done.

Why were they searching his car anyway? Isn't there some sort of probable cause thing? I'm sorry if you've already explained this.
Hey Mischief, :wave:

Glad you got to work on your house. If you're like me, you can't wait to get all that done and in your case move back in. I can't wait to finish mine, sell it and move into an apt. or another house. I think that will help establish a little bit more normalacy in our lives.

I assume bf had his Zoloft in another container other than his Rx bottle. Why?? do they do that?? My ex use to do that with all his meds, even advil. I use to question him about it all the time. Never did get a good explanation.
The state drug testing facilities here are also closed on weekends. And on some holidays they are closed for 4 days in a row. And if your color didn't come up right you might not test for at least five days. This is totally dumb to me, because for us crack/cocaine/meth addicts, we'd have time to use for a couple of days and be clean before color came up. Don't know anything about the home drug test, sorry! Somethings up with bf, don't know what yet. But it will come out eventually. Am I a suspicious person - YES :D

I pray that you will continue to hold your resolve on keeping bf out of your house for now. Sure it'll be lonely at times for both of you. I know how lonely it is because I'm right there with you. Interestingly a lot of times when folks get clean and sober, their families don't like them and I've seen many divorce as a result of sobriety. You're right about the person being a "jerk". You may decided you don't like him once you're mind isn't fogged. I loved my bf, but I didn't like him alot of the time. Does that make sense?

I've made a decision that when I have a relationship in the future I have to like that person (as a person) first. I want that person to be my best friend before anything else is possible. Gosh, look what I've learned!! :D Now if I can practice what I preach. :D Secondly, I'm done taking care of the men in my life financially. I took care of two husbands and one bf financially. I'd like a relationship with someone who can and will support himself. He could even take care of me!! lol

Why is it that you feel you should trust your bf at this point in time? Trust issues didn't come up overnight and they certainly won't go away overnight. Unfortunately we do have to build trust back in relationships with the people we've hurt with our drug use. And in our cases, we were not only the addicts, we were the family/significant other of our addict bf's. I hear people in meetings talking about it taking years for family/friend who were hurt during using times to ever trust the addict. And there are some cases where the people never get that trust back.

There is a reason that the 12 step program folks suggest no relationships in first year. It takes that long to learn who we are. We have to learn about ourselves, take care of ourselves and love ourselves. If we get into a relationship that doesn't work out, the emotional rollercoaster of that relationship can send us back out. And to try to have a relationship with someone who is questionably still using or in early recovery also is like a time bomb waiting to explode in my opinion.

Congratulations on completing your 3rd step. You're ahead of me. :D I worked on my workbook for 3rd step today. Finished about 2/3 and was exhaused and had to stop. Will finish it this week and meet with my sponsor this weekend to do it officially. Then comes the dreaded 4th and 5th step.
It has been suggested to me by NA friend, not to do 4th step until after the holidays due to the anger/resentments, etc it will bring out in me. I was told no one around me would have a good holiday because I'm gonna be sad, mad and in general a bit.. Another CA friend disagrees with this and sayes I need to hurry up and do the 4th and 5th or I'm gonna end up going back out again.
Gonna get some more input on that one. Any opinions from those of you 12 steppers out there reading now?

Hope you have a great Monday!!
didn't get a chance to read your whole post, but whether zoloft is a controlled substance for arrest purposes is determined by the criminal statute listing, not the rx list, so I still need to check that. the zoloft was in the doctor's sample bottle, because the doc gives him samples cause he has no insurance. I used to pick it up from the doc for him. so, because they took him into custody for that, they searched the car. it's called search incident to lawful arrest. However, if zoloft is not a controlled substance, or if he was in lawful possession of it, then the search is invalid, and it won't matter what they found in the car.

Gotta run, will read all the posts this afternoon, meeting with the person who may come to work with me!!!!
Thank you all so very much!!!!!!!!!!!