Discussions that mention zoloft

Depression board


I am so lost with sudden feelings of anxiety, anger and deep sadness again.Im suffering from clinical depression and have been for over a year.I take Zoloft and have found its done wonders for me.Its turned my life around completely.Back at the beginning of my illness i was confined to the four walls of my bedroom as i was too scared to go outside. I was surrounded by a thick fog which obscurred everyday surroundings and ppl. It was a horrible and frightening feeling being stuck within that thick fog comletely unaware of my behaviour. I felt like i was going crazy, crying at every moment, harming myself and hearing voices within my head.

Zoloft turned my life around. I still suffer from deep sadness, ultimately caused by my bad childhood in my view. My physical pains have also contributed.I have been to couselling in the past months and also see a pyschiatrist once every 4 weeks.However today i had a check up at hospital about my back pain and was pointlessly told i am just to persue with the 15 pills i take a day of very strong medication. So i flipped at the consultant. After approaching the touchy subject of my bad back pain with ridiculous arrogance i broke down in tears. I am sick of the medical profession nodding and agreeing and saying the most patronising line "i know how you feel." What the f*** ?!They have no idea what pain is!

Im so frustrated.4 years i have suffered from the most excruciating pain.4 years i have had to pop 15 pills a day making me physicaly sick if not taken on time, and which i am very much addicted to. My consultant showed such arogance that i felt extremely patronised and belittled.He finaly came to the conclusion that i was taking all my deep and dark problems out on him and that i had to battle my severe depression without attacking him.I have to now see my pyschiatrist once a week and if my condition deteriorates further then i will be put into a clinic for my depression. I was astonished by his behaviour.Ive now been made to feel like im turning stir crazy. Im not, im just damn frustrated!No one is listening to me. I have no place to turn and i am falling deeper down.My feelings are monotonus and whoever i talk to, i start over at the beginning again because they just dont understand.

I just need a reasurring voice that im not turning crazy.I reacted in a bad way to my consultant because he made me sound as if i was the crazy one who had to see a shrink to beat this and who has to spend a spell in a depression clinic.Please help me.