Discussions that mention zoloft

Depression board


To begin a new thread is always a bit overwhelming, but I am feeling the need for some support and find it here.
I have been on Zoloft and Klonopin for 10 years, and for the most part it does make life bearable and at best, truly just fine. I had a terrifically stressfull year last year, some of you may recognize my story from other posts--but my husband of 30 years was dxed at Christmas of '05 with Primary liver cancer and given 8-12 months to live. The ensuing year of '06 was hell, but we were able to get him placed on the transplant list and he did receive a life saving transplant in September. He has recovered quite well, but for one serious setback in the form of a hospital borne infection, but that really just slowed him down a few weeks. Our 2nd youngest daughter married in June and our youngest left home because she could not stand the stress. So I was his sole caregiver for four solid months. I don't think he took a single pill or anything without me handing it to him. I had to deal with drains, tubes, flushing infection sites--everything but his insulin injections which he handled himself. Oh, and he's HCV+ so everything had to be done fully gloved & with a Hazmat garbage kept separate--so it was quite a chore.

He's back to work his typical 60 hour weeks and doing everything he ever did---and I'm a mess. I guess I thought that going through this life changing situation would bring us closer together, but truth is, he acts like he has singlehandedly accomplished the greatest feat known to man. (In fairness to him, he was so heavily drugged much of the time he does not remember a LOT of what went on--whole chunks of days are missing). He has never acknolwedged to me or to anyone else my contribution to his care. This is a deep and powerful hurt. I finally did kind of jokingly confront him about it and he said "What did you do? I had the transplant, not you, this wasn't ABOUT you". After that comment I seriously thought about leaving him--and told him so. We are currently in marriage counseling, and I am not terribly hopeful. He says he wants us to work things out, but I just don't know--partly too, I have gotten so much more depressed than ever before---so before I make any life altering decisions, I am going to see my pdoc and see if maybe a tweak in meds would help me to just feel not so miserable and help me to digest all the stuff that's going on. Usually when really depressed I am also extremely anxious, but now I am just so down all the time, I could sleep 20 hours a day.
We have 31 years together, 5 kids, 3 grandkids---I am not taking separation nor divorce from this man lightly, but I cannot continue to feel like his life is so totally separate from mine....if this transplant and ensuing recovery was not about US then I wonder what in the heck IS about US???
It may be interesting to note that his aprents divorced after 42 years of marriage and his brother & wife were divorced after 15 years....so I know it's not just me being "oversensitive"--as he tells me. (oh-he's also an engineer--do they take out the "sensitive to women" chip when you graduate from engineering school??)

Well, anybody who wants to throw their hat in the ring, I appreciate any kind words.
Thanks
Liz
[QUOTE=liz49;2819604]To begin a new thread is always a bit overwhelming, but I am feeling the need for some support and find it here.
I have been on Zoloft and Klonopin for 10 years, and for the most part it does make life bearable and at best, truly just fine. I had a terrifically stressfull year last year, some of you may recognize my story from other posts--but my husband of 30 years was dxed at Christmas of '05 with Primary liver cancer and given 8-12 months to live. The ensuing year of '06 was hell, but we were able to get him placed on the transplant list and he did receive a life saving transplant in September. He has recovered quite well, but for one serious setback in the form of a hospital borne infection, but that really just slowed him down a few weeks. Our 2nd youngest daughter married in June and our youngest left home because she could not stand the stress. So I was his sole caregiver for four solid months. I don't think he took a single pill or anything without me handing it to him. I had to deal with drains, tubes, flushing infection sites--everything but his insulin injections which he handled himself. Oh, and he's HCV+ so everything had to be done fully gloved & with a Hazmat garbage kept separate--so it was quite a chore.

He's back to work his typical 60 hour weeks and doing everything he ever did---and I'm a mess. I guess I thought that going through this life changing situation would bring us closer together, but truth is, he acts like he has singlehandedly accomplished the greatest feat known to man. (In fairness to him, he was so heavily drugged much of the time he does not remember a LOT of what went on--whole chunks of days are missing). He has never acknolwedged to me or to anyone else my contribution to his care. This is a deep and powerful hurt. I finally did kind of jokingly confront him about it and he said "What did you do? I had the transplant, not you, this wasn't ABOUT you". After that comment I seriously thought about leaving him--and told him so. We are currently in marriage counseling, and I am not terribly hopeful. He says he wants us to work things out, but I just don't know--partly too, I have gotten so much more depressed than ever before---so before I make any life altering decisions, I am going to see my pdoc and see if maybe a tweak in meds would help me to just feel not so miserable and help me to digest all the stuff that's going on. Usually when really depressed I am also extremely anxious, but now I am just so down all the time, I could sleep 20 hours a day.
We have 31 years together, 5 kids, 3 grandkids---I am not taking separation nor divorce from this man lightly, but I cannot continue to feel like his life is so totally separate from mine....if this transplant and ensuing recovery was not about US then I wonder what in the heck IS about US???
It may be interesting to note that his aprents divorced after 42 years of marriage and his brother & wife were divorced after 15 years....so I know it's not just me being "oversensitive"--as he tells me. (oh-he's also an engineer--do they take out the "sensitive to women" chip when you graduate from engineering school??)

Well, anybody who wants to throw their hat in the ring, I appreciate any kind words.
Thanks
Liz
you could be bipolar
LOL.....no, I am not bipolar, I think that to be BP you actually have to have some up days!!! But thanks for the dimestore dx georginia--I am NOT making light of BP, my youngest daughter IS, and it is no darn fun for her or anyone around her, so don't throw that dx at people w/o a whole lot more than a few posts under the belt to look at. I have GAD, which is a lot different than being bipolar--I can go many days without any anxiety problems, the Zoloft really did help a lot with that. Some days it is bad, and after the past year + that we've been through, yeah, I'm feeling a tad more anxious about the future, but I'm not manic (you have to trust me on knowing what a truly manic phase looks like)....if I were manic, my house would be a lot cleaner, that's for sure. I am truly just trying to take care of my self and put myself first, for once and it's not being met with great support----my own fault, actually, I created this "monster" and I have to retrain it not to be so needy.
And, actually, georginia, it is wrong for you to be saying that to people who are on the edge, so to speak, BP is a frightening disorder, if not well understood and you should not be randomly posting that thought to people who are struggling--esp people on these boards, most of whom are under the care of pdocs who would know if they were BP or not.