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Posted by J. on August 01, 2000 at 12:11:19:

In Reply to: An Everday Thing *May Trigger* *Kind Of Long* posted by Anon. on July 28, 2000 at 23:09:38:

: For the last 6-years, I've had poor body image. It all started when I looked in the mirror one day (6-yrs ago)to see how I looked. Well, unfortantly I didn't like what I saw. I looked fat (In my mind) I was 14-yrs old, 4'11, and 70pds. Well, after a few months later, my weight shot up and I grow. Forgetting the growing part in my mind at the time, I felt that I was getting fat. Didn't take me long to reach 100pds.

: Since I was 15, I started to resist food. I hated it so much, it was like my worst enemy. Half of the people in high school that I went to thought I was anorexic. A teacher ended up asking me to come after school (after getting dizzy in her class) to talk to her. When I went to see her, she told me to stand in front of the mirror. I did and she asked me, "What do you see?" I told her, "A fat and ugly person" She then talk to me about anorexia and everything, something I really didn't want to hear. I didn't know what to do.

: To this day, I hated food, resisting food, taking diet pills, and exercising till I drop. I hate how I look and still think I am fat. Now the voices that tell me, "You look fat, you need to lose weight" "You aren't going to eat that are you?" "You look pathetic" I don't know how to stop the voices and wish they would go away.

: Already, many of my friends has told me I was sending red flags that I have an eating disorder, but feels as though I don't. I haven't lost much weight, I haven't even ended up in the hospital for this. I don't know what is wrong with me, but wish this problem with me would go away.

: Everyday, you have to eat. But feel as though I can't forget about this, because it is WAY TOO hard!!

I am sorry for your problem. I understand how difficult it is to deal with anorexia. I myself have struggled with it for the past five years. However, please know that you are not alone. There are many of us out there who are just like you. And there is help. You can go to professionals who can help you beat this problem, but you have to want help. Without help you will feel this way your entire life. Can you imagine that? Every morining and night worrying about your weight and starving yourself? So the alternative would be to get help so you can lead a happy healthy life.

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