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Posted by Joanne on November 06, 2000 at 14:13:43:

In Reply to: Re: I've been there, its not worth it. posted by Kathleen on November 02, 2000 at 01:45:55:

Kathleen, you are very wise to suspect the seeds of an eating disorder and to want to stop it early. I cannot emphasize enough how much harder it is to stop once it's become ingrained. I've been bulimic for about 5 years. Now, after 9 months in therapy, my binge-purge episodes have reduced from about 14/week to about 7/week. Slow going, indeed. That calm/control feeling you get after depriving yourself is deceptive: It is a trap; it distracts you from what's really causing unhappiness or anxiety. When something in your life feels out of control, and you haven't quite identified it or it seems too difficult to deal with, it's far easier to focus on your body and your eating. You trick yourself into thinking that eating very rigidly will prove that you're in control.

Throwing up sets up a terrible cycle. You feel like you've "undone" the damage, which can even be exhilarating. The truth is a large portion of calories is absorbed quickly. Also, your body chemistry will be out of whack--low blood sugar and low electrolytes, soon causing low mood.

Deprivation is a major cause of binging. Your body knows what it needs. When you undereat, your body wants to make up for it later when food is available. This urge to eat is not you being "weak." It is an overwhelming biological response, and fighting it encourages both anorexic and bulimic tendencies.

: Just wanted to say thank you for sharing your story Kristina. I was originally on this website for Thyroid Disorders, but when I saw this Eating Disorders link, I clicked it. You know. Just out of curiosity. (mmm hmm.)

: The truth is that I've been feeling like I could be on the borderline of having an eating disorder. Yet I made it through my whole teenage years not having one, even though I battled a bit of chubbiness. Now that I'm a married mom of a toddler and have been through so many changes in my life, I've battled some compulsive type of behaviors, including eating. This coupled with being unhappy with my recent growth into a size 12/14...I've made myself throw up quite a few times when I've felt 'too full' or mad at myself for eating too much junk or something. (I'm having a hard time exercising due to some bad siatic nerve pain I've been having, so that is not an option right now). Then just a few days ago, I felt a strange sense of control/calmness/happiness when I had eaten very little most of the day. That scared me, and I felt like "Is this what anorexia is in the beginning stages?" But I had forgotten about it until I got here.

: Anyway, thanks to reading some of your posts, I feel like maybe it is time to stop and think about this a little more before it becomes a serious problem for me. Any suggestions or advice on how I can 'nip this in the bud,' at the same time that I should be trying to get down to a healthy weight (and my normal size 8 pants size) would be much appreciated.

: Thanks again, Kathleen

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