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Posted by Kate on August 04, 1999 at 06:33:13:

In Reply to: Anorexic boyfriend - how can I help? posted by Jess on July 30, 1999 at 14:09:41:

: Hi. I'm 19 years old and my boyfriend is anorexic.
: We just started dating within the last few months
: and he told be all about it from the beginning. I
: never know what to do or say. I'm the only person
: that he's honest with about what he eats. (when his
: mother asks he usually lies) Is there anything I
: can say to him to help improve his body-image? He
: laughs at me for complimenting him too much but has
: admitted it helps. He's been struggling with this off
: and on for a few years now. Recently he's been eating
: well but he tells me each day is a struggle. I would
: apreciate any advice. Has anyone else been through
: this? Thanks.

I had an eating disorder in High School, from Freshman to Senior. It was very hard to overcome, it's very common in girls, but not very common on boys or your young man. I went to a psychologist for 3 months, but I wanted to get over it and I wanted that help. There is not that much you can do for someone that doesn't want help of thinks that they are okay. Everybody needs different help. You really have to lay the rules down, do you really want to be with someone that has this problem? Even if it's getting better, do you still want to see him go through that? This is a mental disorder and it can cause life long damage to any persons body. It's one of the worst things that you can put your body through. Maybe you need to get passes to the gym, try getting him books to read, or helping him anyway that you can. Jess, search on this and find out what this all can do to a person after years of malnourishment, print it out and sit there and read it to him, if this doesn't make him open his eyes, I don't know what will. Good luck with him, and be very resourseful and suportive to helping him, it will all take time. I think that it's very good that you care about him this much, even after a couple of months into your relationship, Im proud of you, because you sound like my boyfriend and I, always caring and looking out for each others health issues.

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