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Posted by Barbara on March 15, 2000 at 10:23:54:

In Reply to: needing tips for control posted by ebony on March 14, 2000 at 16:44:59:

: Can anyone help me, I need tips for controlling my appitite. I have tried just drinking water and giving myself rewards but I fail and when I do I feel like I am totally out of control of my whole
: I really need this to work as I am beyond despair and feel so bad.
: eb
: xxxx

Dear Ebony:

I hear you on the control issue. I have been an overweight (& often obese) person most of my life. But I have discovered two essential things on my road to recovery:

1) Recovery is a lifelong JOURNEY -- not a destination. You have been "programmed" biologically to overeat & your body will always want to revert to that programming. You can't erase programming, but you can WRITE OVER TOP OF IT! Don't look at your bouts with controlling your appetite as a win/lose situation or you will be forever battling it. Understand that EVERBODY who has ever had a significan weight problem will ALWAYS struggle. The struggle is good, it's what shows you you're alive.

2) As crazy as it sounds, STOP concentrating on food! When you obsess about food, either to eat it or not eat it, you're in a prison -- take your focus OFF of food. When you find other things in your life that fill you up (relationships, hobbies, fulfilling your goals, etc.) you will just naturally find that you have less time & attention to compulsively fill your mouth.

You don't have a "problem" with controlling your appetite, as I see it. You are HUMAN, & you HURT, therefore you EAT, because it's an established pattern. Don't try to FIGHT old patterns; make NEW ones. Accept yourself joyfully, as hard as it may seem.

Get used to WHO you are & what you look like naked -- all your lumps & bumps. I have been doing this for some time. While in the beginning it was a shocker, it also freed me up to see the results of my binge eating -- it put me in reality. It also helped me connect with myself. I began to see myself as a person who I loved, a person who was "trashing" my body with food ... and I began, slowly, to break the process.

Remember, Ebony , it's a journey we're on ... I (and millions of others) are on it with you. It's not falling off the wagon that matters, for that's part of the experience. The ONLY thing that matters, in the long run, is getting RIGHT BACK UP. Okay?

If I can provide additional help to you or anyone else regarding overeating, please feel free to contact the ex-fat-now-chubby-overeating-guru. (ha ha)


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