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Re: Herpes has ruined my life!

Re: Herpes has ruined my life!

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Posted by Del on January 14, 2000 at 11:09:32:

In Reply to: Herpes has ruined my life! posted by Marilyn on December 25, 1999 at 15:32:02:

: I am a 35 yr SWF, no children, never been married and now wondering if I ever will. It's been 6 1/2 years since I became infected with herpes and I still have not made peace with this disease. It has destroyed my already lacking self-esteem. I've had depression, panic attacks, withdrawal, anxiety. I was SUICIDAL for a while when I first found out. I was only seeing one guy so I knew where it came from and he denied it. Then I turned to God and got better. That lasted for a while then I began to crumble again. I know that the disease is just a disease, it is not who I am. I know that millions of people suffer from it. I know all this so why does it trouble me so? It has sent me in search of deeper spiritual meaning and connection, etc. I feel like I'm losing my mind. I feel like a leper. Who's going to accept me like this? Help!!! When will this get easier for me? I dread telling a new boyfriend about this. I've only told two in 6 1/2 years. I'm sometimes reluctant to get close to a man because I think he'll probably run like hell when he finds out. If he runs, he wasn't the right one anyway, you say. But I have to be honest and recall my horror when I found out myself. I'll stop babbling now. Someone please, say something.

This is my first time dealing with others that have this dreaded disease. I too am amazed at how wide spread it is. Like you Marylin and many others I have abstained from sex with the exception of my w-girlfriendd who is also infected. I have had this for about 8 years. We don't know who infected who. The only thing that kept us sane was the fact that we cared about each other. However, now that we are seperated(so to speak) neither of us is willing to attempt another relationship. consequently, we deal with each other only regarding sexual activity. Don't dispare, the right person is out there for you. What ever you do, don't lose your self esteem. God loves all of us. And you are just as important as everyone else. with or without this problem. Good luck and don't ever give up.

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