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Re: sharing medication

Re: sharing medication

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Posted by lilla with son John on June 28, 2000 at 15:29:42:

In Reply to: Re: sharing medication posted by A friendly mom on June 27, 2000 at 21:23:10:

: Hi,
: Sorry to say this, but as someone mentioned, that behaviour is enabling.
: He is emotionally black-mailing you and you keep going there to get into it with him...why go there? You are the parent. Believe me if he really needs pain killers you do not need to be his source...but he is a manipulator and you don't know where the line of resonsibility is.

: He is not going to die if you say no to him, and likely this is not the only time he has acted like this when you try to say no to him...hmmm? Is this a patttern, you feeling sorry for him?
: Being afraid to lose his affection? He seems to be using you to make himself feel you feel good about that?

: I do empathize as I have a prodigal son myself, who has run away from me since a yooung age, and has blamed me for his bad attitude and behaviour. I was always afraid I would lose him forever if I stood up to him. It was not until I got some guts and had it with his VERY unfair attitude that I told him I did not care if I saw him or not!

: He finally later apolegized and has been working on his attitude. But it has been a hard haul, as I cannot stand up to him easily. He has had me over his barrel a long I just say no. I don't apolegize, explain or justify myself...I just say it is what I want to do. Period.

: If he does not like it he can stay away from me.
: You need to get control of your own choices and quit feeling sorry for him...then he will deal with the medical profession on the up and up, so he can get what he needs. Like adults do.

: As it is you are helping him remain a dependent little kid.

His temper is the thing that I am worried about. I am trying to find the words to say to him after I say no so that he knows that I don't love him any less for refusing him. Yes, this is emotional blackmail. That said, where do I go from there and I need to figure out how to stop him permantly from asking. It might be worth a mention that he is in his 40's. Is he a drug addict? I'm not sure since I know for a fact that his doctors avoid prescribing narcotics and he continually changes doctors. He had a "headache/migrain" doctor that told him that he was sorry but he could not longer help him. The doc to him to find another physician. So, although he goes fom doctor to doctor, he dosen't get what he want. Can someone who RARELY gets narcotics be an addict or is this the "addictive personality." He quit smoking just last summer so there is proof that he has some self control.

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