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Re: sharing medication

Re: sharing medication

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Posted by a mom on July 04, 2000 at 20:49:29:

In Reply to: Re: sharing medication posted by lilla with son John on June 28, 2000 at 15:29:42:

We cannot somehow ensure another stops a behaviour we prefer not to have to deal with!
We can only control ourselves...if you have always given in YOU have TRAINED him to ask you to share your pain medication. Only YOU can put a stop to it, and it may take some time of being firm before he understands you mean it..if you do.

If you are afraid of his temper, you need to stay away from being with him one on one. This is not about if he knows you love is about his hateful behaviour toward you.

Clearly you both own this relational problem, so trying to control whether he accepts your refusal is pointless...we cannot control what the other does. He is trying to make you believe that you can control his temper if you just act a certain way, or take care of his need to face that his temper is his problem.

If need be, you might try taking someone he respects with you to tell him that you will never share your meds you need for yourself with him again, or participate in any other illegal activity. He may not want to see you for awhile. Is that what you are trying to avoid? If so, you are helping him manipulate you by going along with his intimidations.

It does not matter a bit if he is addicted or not...that does not matter, nor can anyone here tell you the answer to that question. Even if you figured it out, again it is not your problem to somehow fix, and feeling sorry for a manipulator never helps or works.

You cannot somehow make him the reason you say no. You are the reason.
Are you going to stand up to him?
I think you can do it.

: His temper is the thing that I am worried about. I am trying to find the words to say to him after I say no so that he knows that I don't love him any less for refusing him. Yes, this is emotional blackmail. That said, where do I go from there and I need to figure out how to stop him permantly from asking. It might be worth a mention that he is in his 40's. Is he a drug addict? I'm not sure since I know for a fact that his doctors avoid prescribing narcotics and he continually changes doctors. He had a "headache/migrain" doctor that told him that he was sorry but he could not longer help him. The doc to him to find another physician. So, although he goes fom doctor to doctor, he dosen't get what he want. Can someone who RARELY gets narcotics be an addict or is this the "addictive personality." He quit smoking just last summer so there is proof that he has some self control.

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