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Re: Problems with partner/husband/wife...?

Re: Problems with partner/husband/wife...?

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Posted by John Honsaker on July 14, 2000 at 07:01:15:

In Reply to: Problems with partner/husband/wife...? posted by kimberly on July 11, 2000 at 12:09:26:

: Hey all. Anyone else ever have a problem with their partner/husband or wife regarding the taking of more medicine every once in a while when the pain is too much? I have run into several problems regarding honesty/openness with my partner when I take more medicine ocassionally. I don't feel that I am being dishonest to her when I take more, I am just trying to control the pain. I know she is just concerned and cares about my well-being, but, this is very tough on our relationship, and this last time was the LAST time it can happen, because she can't handle it anymore. How do I explain this to her? I value this relationship, but, it's hard to go throught this feeling that I am being dishonest to her, when I don't really think that I am doing anything wrong to her. Anyone with any advice? Thanks.

You have to remember that your partner has to go through the grieving process the same way that you do. The first step in the grieving process is denial. The pills may actually be a secondary problem and your partner might be expressing her problem with accepting your condition. Setting dead lines or ultimatums ‘Eg the LAST time’ won’t help, you have to be patient with her.
I hope you realize that their are two ways to reduce your pain. 1) More pain meds. 2) less of the activity that brings on the pain.
I think I would try taking her with you on your next Dr.’s appointment. Discuss this with her and your doctor. He/She might agree with your partner but might prescribe more pain meds. for you or explain that it is not unusual for someone to do what you are doing. Whatever happens at least it will be out in the open and your partner won’t think you aren’t following your doctors instructions in the future.
Good luck and God bless,
John H.

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